Blown every which way but where we want to go . .
by Crushafo
Summary: Kaoru has family in strange places, but mainly where she or many of the other RK charactors NEVER thought them to be! *part 8 uploaded*
1. Prolugue

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
  
Some stories are meant to be told. These are the tales that exist within the folds of time,   
waiting for someone to find them and give them to the world.  
  
Thankfully, this is such a story.  
  
This is a story meant to be told over and over again. It is what could have happened versus   
what did happen. We choose to tell it to you because the other one was slightly more boring—er,   
I mean, because it was such a delight to tell.  
  
  
  
  
Kamura Tsuyosa was a man with different faces. The first and the more common one, was that of   
calm seriousness. He tended to be more business-like and very strict, almost as if he were   
uncomfortable with his surroundings.   
  
"Oh bugger."  
  
This was the face almost everyone acquainted him with, as he used it for business partners,   
students, neighbors, casual friends, and strangers alike. But there was another face. This face   
was far less seen than the others, for he only showed it to close friends and family.  
  
It was the face of someone who never quite understood the meaning of maturity.  
  
"You know, I think I'm supposed to be dead."  
  
Of course, all things considering, this wasn't necessarily a BAD thing . . .  
  
"Now why did they have to try and kill me? How very unsporting!"  
  
. . . But it had its place and its time, and this was not it.  
  
"So I guess I have to die now."  
  
And, in all other dimensions, he did just that. But a stray thought occurred to him in one   
reality; one that most people would not understand until the later future.  
  
"Tokio will kill me if I do though! . . . Um, yeah! And Kaoru will be left without a parent!   
I've got to live! I've got to move! I've got—OUCH!!! . . . Okay, I'll concentrate on the living   
part, and then work my way up to the moving part."  
  
  
  
  
Three years later . . .  
  
Saitou Hajime, current police officer, Mibu Wolf, and swordsman extroidanare, was not a man   
who took orders. Oh yes, he might follow up on suggestions, but it all depended on whether it   
followed his life's code of honor or not: Aku Soku Zan.   
  
Well, in all areas but one.  
  
Saitou Tokio was a strong woman, as most women who married impossible men usually were. Tiny   
and feisty beyond belief, Tokio always got what she wanted.  
  
And not even Saitou could do anything about it.  
  
Which was why he was currently going through old papers and files, judging them for their use   
or if they needed to be gotten rid of. It should be noted around here though, that Saitou was in   
a world of misery. He hated paperwork. Kami, but he hated it!   
  
And he had nothing to do about his misery since Tokio had searched him earlier (not that it   
hadn't been fun) for cigarettes, not wanting him to smoke as he went through the papers.  
  
And so, it was with a black heart that he laughed as he found and read a very old piece of   
paper, which is the key to almost the entire story.   
  
Well, he didn't laugh at first. His first reaction was: "Oh damn. I wish Tokio would tell me   
who her relatives were before I tried to kill them." Then he laughed, seeing the irony in the   
entire matter. So in all retrospect, none of this was Saitou's fault.  
  
Well, almost.  
  
Tokio called from another room in the house. "Hajime! You promised me you'd come to market and   
carry my goods! Let's go already!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Saitou stuffed the paper into his pocket and then made his way to the front door   
where his wife was patiently waiting for him. He accepted his hat from her and then, looping his   
arm through hers, led her through the door and down the walk of their yard. As they were leaving   
the gated yard and were walking down the street, their house collapsed.  
  
Tokio whirled around in time to see a purple streak bounce off the falling roof and onto the   
street. It was a young woman with purple hair. She glanced quickly around herself without seeing   
Saitou or Tokio, then ran away. Tokio looked from her house, and then to her husband.  
  
"What was that about?" she demanded in a cold voice.  
  
Saitou shrugged, attempting to appear innocent. It didn't work.  
  
"I don't believe you!" Tokio looked back at her ruined home. "Now that our house is in shambles,   
where are we going to stay?" She began to think of an answer to her own question as Saitou   
suddenly remembered his cigarettes were in the house.  
  
"Oh dammit," he whispered, feeling his lungs ache in sympathy.   
  
Tokio ignored it. "Well, I'm sure Kaoru won't mind if we stay with her," she muttered to   
herself. "After all, we haven't seen her since her father's death."  
  
"Kaoru?" Saitou's awareness of the paper in his pocket doubled. "Why," he began slowly, still   
miserable over his loss of cigarettes, "funny you should mention her . . ." 


	2. Chapter One

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
Soujirou trudged through the woods. His feet hurt. But that was okay, because it was just   
another reminder of how alive he was. He smiled; it was a habit. He was also lost.  
  
This was a problem. Especially since he had been seeing the same tree for over three days now,   
over and over and over. He wasn't sure how he was doing it. Okay, he passed that one village a   
few days back, and then he came up here to the mountains . . .  
  
Being lost meant he had a lot of time to think. As many people could tell you, it is dangerous   
to do so much at one time. You just might strain something important. But Soujirou had nothing   
better to do, other than contemplate why he always saw same tree over and over, so he remembered   
his past.  
  
Not the past where he lived with his abusive uncle, but the past before that. Back in the   
happier times, when his mother was still living, and he was staying with his cousin, uncle, and   
aunt.  
  
They had been an odd group; he an illegitimate child with a kind mother, a motherless cousin,   
his mother's childless sister, and his cousin's odd father. His mother was always happy, his   
aunt was always crabby, his uncle he wasn't too sure about, and his cousin cried all the time.   
  
He knew it was because her mother had died and she missed her. He could remember seeing her in   
the garden, crying because she missed her. He told her that they should bury her mother's jewelry,   
and every time she could think of her mother, then they could dig up a piece.  
  
Soujirou laughed as he remembered that. His mother and aunt were not too happy about it, but   
no amount of spankings from either would reveal where they had hidden it. It was with wistful   
fondness that he remembered those old days.  
  
His cousin's mother had died, and both her sisters had come to the funeral and to care for his   
cousin. After a year, he and his mother left for Kyoto, and there she died. He had been sent to   
live with his uncle and his family until such a time could be found where his aunt could leave   
her niece (who had fallen out of the cherry tree, hit her head, and lost her memory) to fetch   
him back. It did not help that her husband (who ever he was, no one ever told Soujirou anything)   
would not allow her to come to Kyoto during the war.  
  
Soujirou sighed, and then continued on his way, once more getting lost until he found himself   
back at the same tree. He glared at it as if accusing it of following him, and sat down on a   
tree stump. He listened to the birds singing and cheerfully watched the clouds float by him. It   
reminded him of the time he had been laying in the grass, his head piled up in his aunt's lap as   
she patched his torn gi. As crabby as she had been, there were many times when she was generous   
and kind beyond what she needed to be, and he loved her for it.  
  
Soujirou's ears perked up with interest suddenly as he heard someone limping through the bushes.  
  
He glanced to the side to see an older man trying to get through the thick brush, parting it   
with his cane-shaped walking stick. His hair was jet-black with the exception of the streaks of   
white that ran through it. Soujirou could not estimate his age, other than it being beyond his   
forties.  
  
"Oompha!" The old man slipped. Soujirou jumped up and hurried over to him.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked kindly with his customary smile, helping the old man to his feet.  
  
"Oh, thanks. It's just that my leg is killing me," the old man replied. Soujirou grabbed his   
elbow, picked up the pack the old man dropped, and steered him over to the stump he had been   
sitting on earlier. "Thank you kindly," the old man said with a grateful smile. Soujirou returned   
it with one of his customary 'I'm-an-innocent-person-who-would-never-hurt-you.'  
  
"Where are you heading?" he asked.  
  
"Tokyo. Been a long time since I was there; see, it's my home, and I've been away from it too   
long."   
  
"Ah. I was thinking about heading there myself, but I really don't know how to get there. I'm   
sort of lost right now." Soujirou smiled sheepishly. The old man laughed with him.  
  
"I know what that's like! Don't worry. I got directions on how to get through the forest from   
the small village back there." He gestured with his hand and then frowned "At least, I think it   
was back there. But you're welcome to travel with me if you'd like."  
  
"Thank you," Soujirou said gratefully. The old man shrugged, then leaned on his cane, looking   
Soujirou over. The young rurouni grew nervous. "Is something wrong?" he asked finally. The old   
man jumped, then smiled.  
  
"Oh no, not at all. It's just that you look familiar." Soujirou felt a wave of panic. The old   
man sighed as he continued. "You're the spitting image of one of my sister-in-laws. She died   
some years ago," he added sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry," Soujirou said automatically, relieved that the old man did not recognize him as   
being one of Shishio's men.  
  
"Yeah, especially since that shrew of her sister is still alive," the old man replied dryly.   
He looked thoughtful for a moment. "At least, I think she is." He made a face. "I dearly hope   
she isn't!" He then gave Soujirou a smile. "Well, since we'll be traveling together, why not   
give me your name? I'm called Tsuyosa."  
  
Soujirou shrugged. "Well, I'm in a bit of trouble with the law," he began slowly, "so if you   
don't mind, you can just call me Rai." Tsuyosa gave him a penetrating glance.  
  
"Ah well, then I won't ask. A lot of people have had problem with police." The old man laughed.   
"Even I have, though it was merely personal, as I insulted an officer's wife and he didn't care   
for it." He laughed again, then shrugged. "Shall we be on our way then?"   
  
  
  
Kenshin was doing laundry.  
  
He was doing laundry as an argument between Kaoru and Yahiko took place. It was a loud argument,   
as was almost all that took place between them. Currently, it was heading along the lines of:  
  
Yahiko: "You have the face of a rabid raccoon not even a mother could stare at!"  
  
Kaoru: WHAM! "Good one, coming from a stubby little boy like you!"  
  
Kenshin hummed in an off-tune sort of way as he scrubbed away at the clothes. The argument was   
a secure moment in his life, and the little rurouni cherished it deeply. His humming ceased   
though, as his eyes caught sight of a familiar tall figure stepping onto the dojo property   
through the gates. Kenshin's open and friendly face frowned as the figure approached him.  
  
"What do you want?" he demanded suspiciously as the fighting between his two companions ceased.   
Saitou gave him a feral grin before glancing over at Kaoru.  
  
"I come by to give my niece a domesticate warning, and this is the thanks I get?"  
  
"Niece?" Kaoru cut in before Kenshin could reply. "Here? At my dojo?"  
Saitou nodded, an unpleasant gleam appearing in his eyes, Kaoru and Yahiko began to glance   
wildly around, wondering if anyone had entered the dojo during their fight. Kenshin's hand came   
to rest almost casually and very lightly upon the hilt of his sakaba.  
  
Kaoru scratched her head. "So," she began, "where is she?"  
  
Saitou smiled coldly. "It's funny you should ask," he began slowly, "It's you, Kaoru-chan!"  
  
Kaoru's jaw dropped to the vicinity of her knees.   
  
Yahiko was stunned himself. "But-but-but-but-but—"   
  
Saitou rubbed his gloved hands together in barely suppressed glee. His thin lips twisted into   
a wry smile. "Your Aunt Tokio says hello," he continued.  
  
Thump.  
  
Kenshin and Yahiko glanced down at Kaoru's prone body. "Yahiko, go get a bucket of water to   
wake Kaoru-dono up with de gazaro."  
  
Yahiko sighed. "Do I have to?" he whined.   
  
"Yes." Kenshin turned to the smug Saitou. "Would you place explain what is happening de gazaro?"   
he asked pleasantly, not wanting to fight Saitou now, or ever, for that matter.  
  
Saitou gave him the Evil Eye. "I do hope you realize you are living unchaperoned here. This   
will damage Kaoru's innocent reputation, and Tokio is going to kill someone—very likely, it will   
be you."  
  
"Oro?"  
  
Saitou shrugged and folded his hands behind his back. "She's coming down this afternoon when   
she's finished with her shopping—" in his mind's eye, he could see his hard-earned yen floating   
away on faery wings, never to be seen again "—and she plans on staying until Kaoru is married."  
  
Or until the house was repaired, whichever came last. But the Battousai needn't know that!  
  
Yahiko returned just then with a bucket of water, and tipped it over Kaoru's head. She came   
to, sputtering mad and sopping wet. She took one look a the bucket in Yahiko's hands and did   
some quick mathematical thinking  
--------- (Yahiko + Bucket = Wet Kaoru)  
and came to the conclusion as to what happened.  
  
She snatched the bucket out of his hands and beaned him across the head with it. Yahiko went   
down like a lead balloon, his eyes little spirals. Once the more important matter was finished   
with, Kaoru recalled her current crisis.  
  
"Quick!" she exclaimed, running around in circle. "Finish the laundry sweep the decks dust the   
walls polish the floors rake the grass beat the futons this place must be spick and span before   
Aunt Tokio gets here!"  
  
Kenshin sweat dropped. "Kaoru-dono, perhaps you should trying breathing first de gaza—Oro?"   
Kenshin found his arms full of more dirty laundry. Kaoru dashed back into the house and came out   
with a bucket and some dust rags. These she thrust into Saitou's arms.   
  
"Yahiko!" She skidded to a halt in front of him, glared down, and then grabbed a foot.   
"Hmmmm . . . You can help me polish the floors!" she declared, dragging him behind her as she   
hurried through the dojo. 


	3. Chapter Two

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
Soujirou trudged through the streets of Tokyo with Tsuyosa, calmly weaving a pathway through   
the scores of people who stood before them in the busy market place. So it came as quite a   
surprise to them when the wall they were hugging exploded behind them. Both men whirled around   
to look at it, falling into fighting stances as the crowds of people began to yell, scream, and   
push themselves away from the spot.  
  
A young girl with long purple tresses leapt through it. She skidded to a halt before Tsuyosa.   
Her glare quickly turned into a smile of joy. "Airen!*" she cried, leaping for him.  
  
"Oh no! Not you again!" Tsuyosa turned heel and bolted out of the girl's reach, disappearing   
in the panicking crowds of people. Soujirou stared after him in disbelief, wondering if it were   
at all possible to limp that fast.  
  
He shrugged, deciding it was none of his business. He turned to look at the hole, wondering if   
he should remove himself from the premises in case someone blamed this mess on him, and noticed   
a tiny old woman bouncing through it on a walking stick. She disappeared after the retreating   
figures.   
  
Soujirou blinked. Then smiled. And continued on his way.  
  
After many twists and turns down unrecognizable streets, he finally asked a darkly beautiful   
young woman (who strangely reminded him of a fox) directions to his cousin's place. He found it   
after some more stumbling around, and now stood at the gate doors of her property.  
  
A cold dread descended upon him. What if his cousin couldn't remember him? He knew his heart   
would break if he stood before her, seeing a blank look upon her face and hearing her say, "Who?"   
On the other hand, what if she did remember him, and he never stopped by? In the end, what would   
hurt him more?  
  
Soujirou debated with himself long and hard, trying to contemplate as to what he would do.   
Maybe it was just better if he let her forget him. She would ask him what had happened to him in   
the past ten years, and if he stuttered and wouldn't say a thing, she would know he was trying   
to hide something. What if she knew already knew he worked for Shishio?  
  
Soujirou's heart stopped in his chest for a moment. What if she was to find out he had killed   
his own family? How would she feel? Soujirou imagined the look on her face, and felt his heart   
thud in sympathy. No, it would be better to leave, he finally decided. He would not run the risk   
of hurting his cousin like that. Soujirou turned away from the gates and tripped over an   
inconveniently placed trunk.  
  
"Oh my!" Small hands reached down and helped him to his feet. He turned around and glanced   
down to see a tiny woman with porcelain skin and black hair gazing up at him with concern. "Are   
you all right?" she asked. "I told the couch man not to set my things right down there behind   
you, but you couldn't hear me calling you in warning." She patted the front of his gi off in a   
motherly fashion and smiled.  
  
Soujirou stared in shock.  
  
When she smiled, the black wisps of hair surrounding her face drifted and rested directly   
against her cheeks. Her eyes sparkled with an inner mirth, and her mouth was drawn into a thin   
line, contrasting directly with the eyes.  
  
It was a face Soujirou could never forget. "Aunt To-san?" he whispered in surprise. Shock   
swept her features as her eyes snapped wide at the childhood nickname. She gazed up at Soujirou's   
face.  
  
"Do I know you?" she asked after a few moments. Soujirou's heart fell. Not even his mother's   
sister could remember him. He laughed nervously and took a step back.  
  
"No, I've mistaken you for someone else," he said, backing away and trying to run off. He   
stopped when a strong grip grabbed the back of his gi. He looked over to see the woman with a   
determined look upon her face.  
  
"No you didn't," she replied. She hugged the back of Soujirou. "I'm glad to see you are well,   
Souji-chan," she whispered into the material of his shirt.   
  
"You remember me?" She looked up and gave him a brilliant smile, which he gladly returned.  
  
"Of course I do! How could I forget Yumi's son?" She stood upon tiptoes so she could kiss his   
forehead. "I've missed you." She gave him a concerned look. "What happened?" she asked. "Where   
have you been for the past eleven years? And what happened to your family? Do you know they are   
all dead? Why are you here?"  
  
Soujirou felt a wave of panic. Now, if he could come up with a somewhat plausible lie, then he   
would be able to get away with his past. Best to distract her from that subject. "I came to see   
Kaoru," he said finally. He paused, but was urged on with a patient smile from his aunt. "But I   
don't know if she would remember me."  
  
"Oh? Is that all?" She laughed lightly, gesturing at her trunk and carpetbag. "Don't worry,   
she should. If she doesn't, then I'll just make her. Now be a dear and grab my trunk and bring   
it inside," she added as she stooped to pick her carpetbag up. Soujirou wondered at the   
implications her voice held, but dropped it. What Aunt Tokio wanted, she almost always got.  
  
He grabbed one ring on the side of the trunk, then the other ring, and lifted.  
  
He collapsed under its heavy weight. Tokio opened the door and held it there, waiting for him.   
Soujirou decided to grab one ring and then tug it after his aunt. She gave him an impatient look   
as he stumbled by her, pulling the trunk behind him.  
  
It felt like she had put bricks in here! That was when he remembered her infatuation for potty   
and little clay figurines she collected like a madman.  
  
"Really, it isn't that heavy." Soujirou merely grunted as his aunt quickly swept by him. She   
skipped up to the door and slid it open. "Kaoru! Kaoru dear! Hello?" She tossed her sandals off   
into a corner where others were piled.  
  
There was a horrible clattering sound from one of the rooms and Kaoru hurried out of it, her   
face flushed a deep red. "Ahhahahaha!" she laughed nervously, one hand behind her head. She shot   
a quick glance over her shoulder, and then roughly pushed Tokio out the door. "Aunt To-san!   
Quick!" Kaoru grabbed her hand, planted a hasty peck on the cheek, and then slid the door shut.   
"I'm making a surprise dinner for you and it's not quite ready yet!" Her voice, muffled, drifted   
from the other side.  
  
Kaoru pushed a heavy set of drawers Tae gave her in front of the door, jimmying it. "That   
should keep her," she whispered to herself. She hurried back to the room she had come out of   
earlier. She skidded to a halt and glared at Kenshin and Yahiko. "She's here already!" she   
hissed angrily at them. "And that hole in the wall still hasn't been repaired yet! Will you two   
hurry up?"  
  
Yahiko glared at her from beneath the pile of boards that had collapsed on him only moments   
ago. Kaoru gave them a pained expression, her large eyes welling up with tears.  
  
"And now I must cook dinner too!" she wailed in sorrow.  
  
"But Kaoru-dono," Kenshin began patiently, "do you really think you should do that to your   
aunt de gazaro?" Kaoru rounded dangerously upon him.  
  
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded angrily.  
  
Kenshin wilted. "Nothing Kaoru-dono," he whispered.   
  
Yahiko struggled his way out of the pile of boards. He glared upward at Kaoru. "Oh yeah?" he   
demanded hotly. "I don't think Mister Saitou Hajime will be too appreciative when he learns you   
poisoned his wi—" Yahiko's words were cut off abruptly when Kaoru kicked him in the teeth,   
sending him back into the pile of boards.   
  
"Oh yeah?" she demanded. "Just you wait! I'll make a dinner for my aunt like no one has ever   
seen! HAHAHAHA!!!" And with that last ominous sound, she left them to their work. Yahiko gulped   
audibly while Kenshin gave him a pained look. Yahiko tried to change the subject.  
  
"Well, I don't see why we have to be the ones to finally repair the hole in the wall Saitou   
and Sanosuke were the ones to make!" he grumbled. Kenshin merely shrugged and went back to   
pounding nails.  
  
  
  
"That's funny," Tokio said as she heard Kaoru scoot something heavy to the side of the door.   
"I thought the kitchen was in the other side of the house. Maybe she was getting something   
needed from the room," she decided finally.   
  
"Huh?" Soujirou finally managed to drag the trunk up to the steps. He collapsed exhausted on   
top of it, breathing heavily.   
  
"Oh, Kaoru is making me a special dinner."  
  
Soujirou went pale. Even at the age of seven, his cousin had been a terror with cooking food.   
"Did her father teach her how to cook?" he ventured to ask. When Tokio nodded in reply, he   
shuddered. The first—and only—time he had ever eaten anything cooked by his uncle Tsuyosa was   
the time when he, his mother, and his aunt had all just arrived at the dojo and it was late at   
night. He had cooked up a disaster he claimed that was dinner. Out of courtesy, his mother and   
he (although forced) had eaten the dinner, while Tokio chewed Tsuyosa out—come to think of it,   
Tsuyosa looked as if all her words were going in one ear and out the other.   
  
Soujirou decided to look on the bright side. "Well," he said, "maybe she's improved over the   
past few years."  
  
Minutes later, smoke billowed out of the nearby kitchen windows.  
  
  
  
Sanosuke's stomach grumbled loudly as he walked down the empty streets. He made a face as he   
pressed his hands against it, trying to still the noise. It growled again, placing Sanosuke in a   
foul mood.  
  
Or it would have been, if he had not already been feeling mad because of a terrified old man   
knocking him over in his haste to escape a purple-haired girl yelling, "Airen! Wa no ai!**"   
followed by a shriveled up prune of an old woman who bounced off his head with a walking stick.   
  
Sanosuke stopped at the Kamiya Dojo. He noted the smoke drifting above the kitchen area. "Uh   
oh," he thought to himself with a touch of panic. He turned and began to scurry down the streets   
with as much dignity as he could retain. "I wonder what Megumi's making for dinner . . ."  
  
There were many times in the life of Kaoru when she had been rudely (and politely) told that   
her cooking was toxic and very liable to kill someone some day. Perhaps there were truth in   
those very words.   
  
But in the very same dojo yard that Sanosuke almost entered, sitting on Toki's trunk in plain   
view of the world and in a fairly good mood at that, was a young man. This young man was special   
in a way, for Sanosuke could very well try to kill him upon sight.  
  
And so, for the first—and probably last—time, Kaoru's cooking actually saved a life.  
  
  
  
Someone else, not too far from the dojo, spotted the smoke rising too. "Oh joy!" he called out,   
but not too loudly for he had just lost the two annoying woman who had been chasing him earlier.   
"My sweet is cooking! Hmmm! I haven't had any decent cooking for such a long while! It'll be just   
like old times!"  
  
  
*Means Husband in the Chinese dialect the Chinese Amazons speak (not sure if it is Catonese or   
Mandarin . . .)  
**Translates as, "Husband, I love you!" 


	4. Chapter Three

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
Soujirou sweatdropped as they watched the rising smoke. Tokio sighed and gave her nephew a mild   
look of annoyance. "You spoke too soon," she said. He nodded sheepishly. She turned back to look   
at the smoke. "Oh dear; I knew I never should have allowed that father of hers to teach her how   
to cook!" Tsuyosa and Tokio never got along, even for the sake of the children. Soujirou sighed;   
he could remember the times when both adults would sit in stony silence, using the children to   
pass insults back to one another ("Tell Tsuyosa he has no more sense than a feather from a   
seagull." "Tell your dear aunt Tokio she's lucky her husband was too desperate for a wife that   
he would never leave a shrew like her.")  
  
He and Kaoru learned many insults from those times.  
  
He followed after his aunt as she pulled off her socks and hopped off the porch. She marched   
her way around the dojo. "Why don't we just go through the front door?" he asked her. Tokio   
waved a hand in the air.  
  
"Because Ka-chan blocked the door so no one could get in," she replied. She stopped suddenly,   
cocking her head to the banging. "Wonder what that is."  
  
"Probably just some maintenance," Soujirou replied lightly. His aunt regarded this point, then   
nodded. She continued on her way with quick strides. Soujirou was less inclined to hurry after   
her. He lingered in the yard, remembering fond things about what he saw.  
  
{Wow,} he thought wistfully to himself. {It's been too long since the last time I was here.}   
He looked fondly at the well, knowing there were three gold bracelets studded with rubies that   
the emperor had given his uncle for payment in some deeds, and then passed them onto Kaoru's   
mother, Hana, were in the well. He and Kaoru had tied them up in a bag and then dropped it in.   
These were the pieces of jewelry that had hurt Kaoru the most to look at, and they had put it in   
the most impossible place to get to. He shrugged at the thought and looked over the old cherry   
tree he and Kaoru used to climb with.   
  
That had been with some of the neighborhood kids, whom the adults dubbed, "the Delinquents."   
He wondered what the Delinquents were up to nowadays. He jerked his way out of his reverie and   
decided to hurry after Tokio—his desire to see Kaoru had burst into a raging fire!  
  
As he entered the house, he noticed an odd offbeat to the pounding. Perhaps that was why Tokio   
had stopped and taken notice of it. He followed the noise, curious as to what it might be. He   
peeked through the door of the room where the banging was the loudest, and stopped. His first   
reaction to what he saw made him duck back out of sight; his second reaction was to peek back at   
the sight; his third reaction was to smile and laugh.   
  
"Oro?"   
  
"Haha! Now that's something you don't see everyday!"  
  
Kenshin looked at the handle of his sakaba, and blushed. "Ah, well," he began sheepishly.   
"It's not as if I couldn't find a hammer, because I couldn't de gazaro!"   
  
Yahiko peered around Kenshin's form. "Do you know him?" he asked suspiciously. Soujirou's eyes   
grew wide and he gave Kenshin a fairly panicked look. Kenshin gave him a smile meant to build   
confidence, and then dropped a hand onto Yahiko's spiky hair.   
  
"He's a fellow rurouni I met a while back de gazaro," he assured the boy. Soujirou breathed   
out with a sigh of relief. "What brings you here, Soujirou-dono?"   
  
Soujirou shrugged, wondering why Kenshin was doing maintenance for work when there were   
potentially hundreds of rich people who would pay handsomely for someone of his skills to be a   
bodyguard. "I'm just here to see my cousin, and I heard you banging. Where are you staying in   
Tokyo?"  
  
Kenshin's eyes grew wide. "I live here in this dojo de gazaro. Who's your cousin?"  
  
Soujirou's eyes grew equally wide. "You are living here with Kaoru unchaperoned? Aunt Tokio is   
going to be very unhappy about that!"  
  
Yahiko scratched his head. "What's going on?" he demanded. He looked up at Kenshin. "Aunt   
Tokio? Isn't that what Saitou called his wife?"  
  
Soujirou sucked in a deep breath, wincing as it turned into a squeak. "Saitou's here?" he   
demanded shrilly. And then . . . "I always wondered why Mom never told me who Aunt Tokio married."   
He glanced around nervously, remembering his last encounter with the tall policeman. "He isn't   
around, is he?"  
  
Kenshin shrugged. "He's about here dusting de gazaro."  
  
Soujirou blinked. Very slowly. "Dusting?"  
  
"You know," Yahiko began impatiently, "it's where you take a rag and brush it back and forth,   
trying to pick up the dust?"  
  
Soujirou blinked very slowly again as he attempted to imagine Saitou Hajime, Mibu Wolf, police   
man, and swordsman extroidanare . . . dusting. The picture refused to appear in his mind, and to   
make matters worse, the Mind refused to comprehend such an idea for the sheer stupidity of it.   
  
"That's . . That's . . ." Soujirou stuttered to a halt, trying to regain his ability to think.   
"That's . . . I don't believe!" he finally said. "Can't believe it!"  
  
It was an impossible to imagine as Yumi and Shishio together intimately in bed and . . .   
Eeewwww! Maybe not as difficult to imagine, but certainly more stomach churning—  
  
"Believe what?" a deep voice asked behind him. Soujirou tensed and then turned slowly around.   
His eyes did not see Saitou's face. Instead, they fell upon the dirty rag in Saitou's hand.  
  
His mind refused to function beyond that point.  
  
Saitou gave his nephew a dry look. "Believe what?" he asked again. Soujirou blinked his eyes,   
trying to get his mind to follow orders once more. Saitou cleared his throat loudly, startling   
the little rurouni.  
  
"Ah! I'm innocent!" he declared. Saitou glared at him. "Uh, what was the question?"  
  
"Believe what?"  
  
"Oh." Soujirou glanced down at the dirty rag again. His mind wanted to rebel, but he forced   
himself to take the picture in. He still had a very hard time believing such a situation was   
possible. "I don't believe you are dusting," he said finally.  
  
Saitou shrugged. "It's easy enough to do; all you need is a dust rag and you just brush it back   
and forth over the dirty areas," he explained. He gave him a sly look. "Besides, you know how   
your aunt feels about dust."  
  
Soujirou suddenly remembered the life-startling secret he learned a few moments ago. The full   
implication hit him like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you are my uncle," he whispered,   
covering his face with his hands.   
  
Saitou switched the rag from one hand to another, and reached up to run the cloth over the   
doorframe. "I can't believe you are my nephew," he replied dryly. "And to think I almost did   
away with you." He eyed Soujirou's slight frame. "Tokio never would have spoken to me if she   
ever found out."  
  
Kenshin sighed with the rate the conversation was heading, and went back to pounding nails   
into the wall with the hilt of his sakaba.  
  
  
  
"I'm so sorry!" Kaoru blubbered as her aunt scraped charcoaled unknowns off the bottom of the   
cooking pan. "I meant it to be such a surprise!"  
  
"You certainly succeeded," Tokio remarked dryly. Kaoru stopped sniffing as she finished. "It's   
all right now. I'll help you throw some simple fares together. Now, where do you keep the   
supplies around here?"  
  
  
  
Tsuyosa joyfully limped up to the front door of his dojo. He tried to slide the front door   
open, but couldn't because something heavy blocked the pathway.   
  
"What does a man have to do to get into his own house?" he wondered. He limped over to the   
open window and used the curved end of his walking stick to pull himself through it. "After all,"   
he continued silently, struggling through the narrow window, "what if we had visitors? How would   
they be able to get in? Can't really expect everyone to crawl through the window like myself."   
  
Halfway through the window, something heavy collided with his cranium and he fell roughly   
through it. Tsuyosa landed on his head, and then looked up, holding it between his hands. A   
fanged fiery youngster with spiky black hair banished his shinnai at him.   
  
"Who the hell do you think you are, sneaking in here like a common thief?" the boy demanded.   
  
Tsuyosa scratched his head. True, he could have gone through the back door, but where was the   
fun to be had in that? Besides, he could do whatever he wanted on his own property and in his   
own dojo. "The front door was jimmied," he said, pointing to where a heavy set of drawers   
blocked the sliding path.   
  
"Silence!" Yahiko rapped him across the head. "Why didn't you just knock then?"  
  
Tsuyosa sighed. "Because I live here," he began patiently. Another rap followed.  
  
"Liar! This happens to be my home, and I sure don't recognize you!"  
  
Another voice called from another room. "Yahiko? Where is that water and soap de gazaro?"  
  
Yahiko turned to gave the direction. "But Kenshin, I'm dealing with a burglar right now!"  
  
Kenshin rolled his eyes as he continued to tug at the brass vase Soujirou had tripped over and   
invariably got his foot stuck in. "Yahiko! Forget about the burglar for just a moment please de   
gazaro! We really need the soap and water!" He glared at the smirking Saitou. "You aren't helping   
matters," he said reproachfully.   
  
Yahiko growled and gritted his teeth. He scowled down at the old man sitting on the floor. He   
waved his shinnai threatening over his head. "Now, don't you be going anywhere, you hear?" he   
commanded before tromping off with a bucket of water.  
  
Tsuyosa stared after him. He made a face when the boy was a safe distance from him. "I'm going   
to have a long talk with Kaoru about her students," he said finally as he painfully climbed to   
his feet. He limped off to the kitchen.  
  
He smiled as he listened to his beautiful Kaoru's voice explaining where the beans were kept.   
He limped a little faster. Ah! How he had missed the light of his life!  
  
He limped up to the doorway of the kitchen and froze in panic as he heard another female voice   
reply to his daughter's. He paused for only a second to take in the small figure standing beside   
Kaoru, and then leapt away from the doorway, flattening his body silently against the wall.  
  
"Oh no!" he whispered in shock. "Not the Shrew!"  
  
There was a sneeze suddenly from the kitchen. "Are you all right Aunt Tokio?" he could hear   
Kaoru's voice asking out of concern.  
  
"Ah yes. But for a moment there, I felt as if someone was speaking about me, and it carried   
the sense of that wretched father of yours."  
  
Tsuyosa gritted his teeth, biting back the normal response such an insult from the Shrew   
normally would have earned. He dimly heard Kaoru gasp.  
  
"Don't start on me, Kaoru," Tokio said in a patronizing tone. "I know we are not to speak ill   
of the dead, but you also know I never liked him. I could never see what your mother, as sweet   
and as gentle as she was, could have possibly seen in him!"  
  
There was a short pause. "Well, Dad was a better cook than Mom," Kaoru replied testily.  
  
Tsuyosa's face fell. {Is that all the support I get?} he wondered.  
  
"It was the only area Hana had a failing in, " Tokio admitted reluctantly. She stared at her   
niece for a moment, and then her delicate face broke into a bright smile. "Now, be a dear and   
fetch me some well water for cooking."  
  
"All right." Kaoru hurried out of the kitchen, not seeing the figure pressed up against the   
wall of her dojo. Tsuyosa took a step forward, wanting to touch his pretty offspring. He heard   
Tokio mumble to herself.  
  
"Hard to see how you could get something as lovely as Kaoru as unflawed as she is out of a   
father like Tsuyosa."  
  
The cause of her anger turned his head and glared at her back. He crossed his arms and stepped   
across the thresh hold of the inner domain many called as 'the woman's place.' "She gets her   
temper from you," he said.   
  
Tokio dropped the sack of beans she was holding and whirled around. "You!" she hissed, gripping   
the edges of her kimono and drawing slightly away. She stood upright to look at him almost eye   
to eye. "You're supposed to be dead!"  
  
"Seeing you makes me wish I were!"  
  
"I can easily accommodate that!"  
  
"Don't bother. I thought I said you were never to enter this house again without my express   
desire, four years ago!"  
  
"You think I'd actually listen to you?"  
  
"Um . . ." Tsuyosa 's train of thought stuttered to a quick halt and then resumed itself.   
" . . . No. But that's beside the point!"  
  
"And just what is the point?"  
  
"The point? Uh. The point is, you are not allowed to enter this house without my permission   
and . . . And . . ." Tsuyosa stared at the piece of paper Tokio withdrew from her pocket and   
held it before his eyes. "What's this?" he asked, taking it and reading the writing. Was she   
blackmailing him again?  
  
"This," Tokio began slowly, as if speaking to an idiot (though she firmly believed she was),   
"is the paper that states Kaoru must be married by her twentieth birthday."  
  
Tsuyosa pointed at it, his eyebrows quirked upward. Tokio nodded. He shook his head. "I   
thought we cancelled that engagement since the boy died ten years ago!"  
  
"Disappeared, not died," Tokio corrected curtly.  
  
"Same thing, isn't it? The rest of his family was found slaughtered—probably by the rebels—and   
who expects a little boy to take care of himself in the middle of the war?"  
  
"Nonetheless," Tokio snatched the paper from Tsuyosa and rolled it up, "the fact that Kaoru   
must be married before she is twenty still stands, or else she loses the dojo."  
  
"Now wait just a minute here! That was only if I died, and as you can plainly see, I'm not   
dead—and don't look at me like that either! In fact, I am very much alive."  
  
"You are legally dead, or illegally live. Whichever way you want to look at it." Tsuyosa   
blinked at Tokio's logic. Was it possible to be illegally alive? She continued on. "Not only are   
you legally dead, but all other property has been distributed amongst family and friends as   
directed by your will. Kaoru was left with the dojo of course, and since the law considers you   
dead, there is nothing you can do about this mess."  
  
"That's not true!"  
  
"Oh yes it is! Considering how you could be labeled as an imposter and thrown into jail, I   
would not risk it. Kaoru must be married or she loses the dojo. Period."  
  
Tsuyosa stomped his foot like a pouting child and mumbled something under his breath.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"It's true! You are a shrew!"  
  
"I am most certainly not!"  
  
"You've hated me since the day I met your sister, and you never wanted us to get together!   
You've made my life miserable since day one, including the three times you blackmailed me and   
that one time when you tried to sabotage our wedding and—"  
  
"I did not try to sabotage your wedding! Can I help it if you thought we were supposed to be   
in one building while the rest of us were in another? And I most certainly did not hate you   
since the day I met you—I've hated you since the day you were born!"  
  
"Hold on now, you never knew me back then, so don't you dare insinuate that—"  
  
"And don't tell me what to do! I've never been able to understand why my sister chose a   
low-class bubble brain like you and—"  
  
"Low-class? Bubble brain? Don't you dare compare me to your sister Yumi!"  
  
"My sister is not a bubble brain!"  
  
"Oh no? Then what was it that you called her when she fell for that one man, got pregnant with   
his child, and was dumped before they were married?"  
  
"I called her flaky—but that was different!"  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Don't you dare disagree with me, Kamiya Tsuyosa!"  
  
"Or what? You'll hit me with that frying pan of yours like you did six years ago?" He pointed   
at a white line running along his hairline. "I still have that scar, you know!"  
  
A throat cleared itself loudly, interrupting the verbal fight. Tsuyosa turned and Tokio looked   
over his shoulder to see a bemused Saitou, puzzled Kenshin, bewildered Soujirou, wondering Kaoru,   
and unhappy Yahiko.  
  
"Hey!" The little warrior stepped forward and glared at Tsuyosa. "You're that burglar from   
earlier!"  
  
Tsuyosa was about to give that a tart reply when Kaoru burst into tears, dropping her bucket   
of water.  
  
"Oro?" Kenshin caught it before it could spill onto the floor. Kaoru ran over to her father   
and threw her arms around him.  
  
"Dad!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "I thought you were dead! I missed you!"  
  
"There, there." Tsuyosa patted his daughter on the back and gave Tokio a smug smile. She   
scowled back at him. That was when Tsuyosa realized a little unhappily that Kaoru was now a few   
inches taller than him. {Just like Hana,} he thought wistfully to himself. {Rats; just   
about everyone is taller than me in this lifetime!}  
  
"Not with you around," Tokio grumbled, turning away and grabbing her sack of beans. The others   
nervously waited for events to get beyond the point of Tokio and Tsuyosa muttering insults about   
each other under their breaths.   
  
"We have a problem," Saitou said, deciding it was up to him to break the fight up. Tokio broke   
her glare with her brother-in-law and smiled sweetly at her husband.   
  
"Yes dear," she said.  
  
No one spoke for several moments and then . . .  
  
"So what are you doing here?" Tsuyosa asked Soujirou from where he could see him through   
Kaoru's hair. He brushed her silky black strands from his vision.  
  
Soujirou laughed and shrugged in reply. "Oh, long story," he said. "Boy, if I had known you   
were my uncle Kamiya, I would have told you I was Seta Soujirou," he added with another light   
laugh.  
  
"Seta Souji—" Tsuyosa broke off and looked at Tokio with upraised eyebrows. "Saaaaaayyy—"  
  
"I know!" she snapped. "I know!" They glared at each other for a moment, and then Tsuyosa   
gently pushed his daughter away by the shoulders. "Let me see you," he said softly, smiling as   
his eyes swept over her features. He cupped her face with his two hands. "Beautiful," he   
whispered with shining eyes. "You look exactly like your mother!"  
  
"Cooks like her too," Tokio grumbled. Tsuyosa shot her a dark glance. She turned away and   
grabbed a pot, which she poured several cups of beans into.   
  
Saitou cleared his throat again. "We need to talk," he said.  
  
"I know, it's about the engagement," Tsuyosa replied in a quiet voice. He felt Kaoru stiffen   
slightly in his grip as Saitou shook his head. Tsuyosa sent his brother-in-law an inquiring   
glance.  
  
"What engagement, daddy?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Tsuyosa laughed and patted her shoulder. "Nah, it's nothing for you to worry your pretty little   
head about," he assured her. "Now, introduce me to your—" he glared fiercely at Yahiko "—house   
guests."  
  
"Oh yes dear!" Tokio turned away from where she had been sorting beans and folded her hands   
demurely before herself. "Do tell! I am rather curious as to who these folks are."  
  
Kaoru threw a panicked look towards Kenshin, glanced quickly over to her aunt, and then inched   
slightly closer to her father's side. "Um, this is Yahiko," she began slowly. Seeing a chance of   
revenge for his throwing water on her earlier that day, she quickly added, "he was a helpless   
orphan that begged me to take care of him."  
  
"Hey!" Yahiko seethed as Kaoru went on.  
  
"Out of the kindness of my heart, I couldn't refuse!"  
  
"He's not very grateful for what you've done," Tsuyosa said pointedly as Yahiko clenched his   
fists. His eyes promised some sort of pain for the blow of humiliation Kaoru had struck him   
with.  
  
{Just you wait}, he thought to himself. {Just you wait.}   
  
Tokio squealed with delight and pinched his cheek. "He's cute!" she declared. Yahiko gave her  
his Evil Eye, but it disappeared from his face when he realized that Saitou—standing directly   
above him—was staring down at him.   
  
"And this is Himura Kenshin," Kaoru added nervously, pointing at the red-haired rurouni. She   
inched closer to her father's side, decided it wasn't safe to be near him, and then began to   
inch away.  
  
"Hello," Kenshin greeted nervously as Tokio scrutinized him.   
  
"She doesn't dress well," Tokio concluded finally, crossing her arms. Saitou smacked his   
forehead as Kaoru, Yahiko, and Soujirou face faulted. Kenshin wilted as his face flushed red.  
  
"Tokio," Saitou growled impatiently. "This is the Hitokiri Battousai!"  
  
Tsuyosa scratched his head as Tokio's smile seemed out of place under her glinted eyes, the   
skin upon her face tightening. Her face flooded with a brilliant red color. She took a deep   
breath.  
"YOU ARE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE AS MY NIECE?!" A giant-Tokio loomed over an orroing   
chibi-Kenshin. Tsuyosa blinked.  
  
{This is a side of her I have never seen,} he thought to himself. He smiled. Good; he wasn't   
discovering it the hard way. "Oh come now Tokio," he began lightly, "surely it can't be all that   
bad!"  
  
Tokio whirled around to face Tsuyosa, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You bubble brain!   
Don't you know who the Hitokiri Battousai is?"  
  
She seethed under her breath as Kaoru cowered behind the only safe person in the entire   
room—Saitou—and Kenshin began to creep out of the kitchen area. A thoughtful look came over   
Tsuyosa's features as he thought.  
  
And thought.  
  
And thought.  
  
And thought.  
  
And for good measure, thought some more.   
  
"Ummmmm . . ." he began in a tone Tokio knew all too well from experience. "No?"  
  
Giant-Tokio loomed over a chibi-Tsuyosa whose hair stood on end. "YOU BUBBLEBRAIN! I DON'T   
BELIEVE THERE IS A SINGLE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE CITY OF TOKYO WHO IS AS DENSE AS YOU!!!"  
  
  
  
Sanosuke sneezed into Megumi's cooked rice, and was ruthlessly swatted for it by the fox-like   
doctor. 


	5. Chapter Four

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
They dined upon a simple fare of rice, pickles, and sweet potatoes. Tokio   
sat beside her husband, silent and seething with a righteous fury. On the   
other side of Saitou going in a counterclock direction sat a very somber   
Yahiko. Beside him was Soujirou, then Tsuyosa, Kaoru, and Kenshin was the   
last before they came full circle around the table.  
  
Kenshin was also the most uncomfortable of all, for he sat on Tokio's other   
side. In her lap was Saitou's unsheathed katana, the sharp edge of it pointing   
at Kenshin's unprotected side. Tokio set her tea down with a thump upon the   
table.   
  
"Now," she began patiently, "let's start from the top here. After the war,   
Kenshin turned into a kind rurouni that wandered over Japan doing good deeds   
to pay for the lives he took. Ten years later, he comes across my Kaoru who   
takes him in. From there, they go through a series of events where people   
usually want to have revenge or something of the like against Kenshin, or he   
and Kaoru help those who are in trouble."  
  
She paused for a breath, then glared at her husband. She suddenly smiled   
sweetly. "Why did you never tell me any of this?" she asked Saitou in a   
pouting voice.   
  
Saitou shrugged, feeling vulnerable and naked without his sword, and at the   
same time, jealous that his wife had gotten so far with the Battousai in such   
a short time. He decided it was because she was a woman. "Because," he   
answered truthfully, "you would have killed him before I could." Kenshin   
sweatdropped as Tokio thought of the reply for a moment and then found she   
had to agree with it. She turned to her nephew with a gentle smile.   
  
"And you," she said, reaching across the table to cover his hand with one   
of hers, "what have you been doing for the past eleven years?"  
  
Soujirou stiffened visibly, almost choking on the tea he had been sipping   
as his smile turned stale. He threw a wild glance over to Saitou for help.   
The Mibu Wolf shrugged eloquently, not wanting his wife's wrath brought down   
upon his own head in front of the Battousai. He had his pride after all . . .  
  
Tokio waited patiently as Soujirou quickly sought to come up with a   
plausible lie. After all, the truth in this matter was not really an option.   
He was not going to tell his current family that he killed his other family,   
right? Right!  
  
Soujirou opted to plead to Tokio's weak side.  
  
He burst into tears.  
  
Instantly, Tokio was on her face and had sprinted to the other side of the   
table where he was sitting. She booted a surprised Tsuyosa out of her way,   
and then gathered Soujirou close as he began to stutter out a somewhat   
changed version of what had really happened.  
  
"It was Shishio! It was all Shishio!" he sobbed.  
  
"It's okay," Tokio whispered, rubbing his back. "It's okay." Normally,   
this would have created a soothing effect, but Soujirou knew he needed to   
keep up a distraught appearance if he wanted to stutter the story out without   
Tokio getting suspicious.  
  
"I had found Shishio in the rice barn, and I didn't know he was a bad   
person! So I gave him everything he asked—food, blankets, bandages. And he   
killed them when they found out! And then he said, since I was such a nice young boy, he'd take   
care of me!" Soujirou took a deep sniff, rubbing his face against Tokio's soft bosom. His face   
turned red when he realized what he was doing. He tried to pull himself away before Saitou Aku   
Soku Zan'ed him.   
  
"It's okay," Tokio whispered assuredly. "I will never let anyone harm you.   
Nothing like that will ever happen again. You are safe with me."  
  
Humph, thought Tsuyosa as he settled down in Tokio's old spot. And how! He   
couldn't think of anyone who would prove to be a better guardian than Tokio.  
  
Tokio planted a kiss upon Soujirou's forehead as he began to squirm around   
in her tight grasp. "Shishio will never hurt you again."  
  
  
  
. . . Deep in the Underworld . . .  
Shishio paused in sharpening his sword. He glanced upward, and then   
wickedly smiled. "If the kid dies before you do, then yes, I will," he said.   
The implications of what might happen should Tokio die and reach Shishio   
first hung unspoken in the air, haunting and weighing heavily with unpleasant   
implications.   
  
  
  
While Tokio was comforting what she thought to be a traumatic Soujirou   
(Kaoru had joined as well, wrapping her arms around Soujirou and pressing   
her forehead against his back), Saitou thought it would be a good time to   
discuss the problem with Tsuyosa. He tugged at his sleeve and then made a   
gesture to the door.   
  
Tsuyosa limped out of the dining room with him. Saitou raised an eyebrow.   
"Long story," Tsuyosa explained. "Needless to say, my leg will never be what   
it once was. Now, what did you want to talk about?"  
  
"We have a problem," Saitou began, crossing his arms over his chest.   
Tsuyosa looked curious.  
  
"The great Mibu Wolf has a problem and he comes to me with it?"  
  
Saitou glared at the smaller man. "No, we have a problem as in we share a   
mutual emergency."   
  
"Oh?" This perked Tsuyosa's interest. He and the cop never really saw eye   
to eye about certain things—mainly concerning swords, fighting techniques,   
and Saitou's choice of wife—but they had respected one another for their own   
codes of honor and for other personal reasons. "What is it?"  
  
"It's about a certain purple-haired individual."  
  
Tsuyosa turned pale. "You saw her too?" he asked.   
  
Saitou nodded. "Little wench destroyed my house."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
  
  
  
And now the secret is revealed!  
  
Three years ago while fighting in a war, the squadron of men Tsuyosa was leading   
rebelled—more from having to have a leader with his sort of sanity than anything else—and   
thought they killed him. After all, certain minds can only take so much nonsense before they   
were snapped.  
  
But three years before that, Saitou had been asked to investigate some Japanese terrorists   
hiding in China. Because China wasn't on the greatest of terms with Japan, they had to sneak   
them across the border. In order to make his cover up more believable, Saitou had asked Tsuyosa   
to come with him.   
  
______________________________________  
"Tsuyosa, you are coming to China with me."  
" . . . Eh? Don't I get any say in this?"  
"No."   
"What if I don't want to go?"  
"I don't think you don't want to do that."  
"Yeah? And what do you intend to do if I don't go?"  
"It involves Tokio staying here in my absence."  
"Oh. Oh! So, uh, when do we leave?"   
______________________________________  
  
Tsuyosa had been under the strict orders to act like he was at home. That   
is to say, he was to try and act as foolish as possible.  
  
After all, why would the great Mibu Wolf really want to bring an idiot   
along?  
  
Together they had found the camp of the terrorists and then split into two   
groups, heading into different directions to scout out all sides of the camp.   
Saitou was found and attacked by a young native from the nearby Chinese   
Amazon village. He effortlessly beat her. He didn't kill her; that went   
against his code of who not to kill—being forced upon him by Tokio herself.   
  
______________________________________  
  
"Hiiiiiii!"  
"Aku Soku Zan."  
WHAM!  
______________________________________   
  
After she came to, the girl kissed Saitou and then disappeared.  
______________________________________  
  
*smooch*   
"Er. I hope Tokio ddoens't find out about that."  
______________________________________  
  
She then came across Tsuyosa and tried to beat him. Unfortunately, there   
was such a time when Tsuyosa was a very fast person in his lifetime—this was   
before he got the limp. He dodged the bonborries the Amazon tried to pull on   
him, knocked them out of her hands. They flew up into the air and came down   
upon her head.  
______________________________________  
  
Bop! Bop!  
"Um, oops. I didn't mean to do that miss! Miss? Say, are you all right?"  
______________________________________  
  
When Tsuyosa had managed to arouse her from her dizzy state, she burst   
into tears, kissed him, and then ran away.  
______________________________________  
  
"Waaaa!" *smooch*  
"Ach! I was just kissed by a . . . cute . . . girl. Ha! This is my lucky   
day!"  
______________________________________  
  
The two men later found out from their Chinese guide that Amazon women   
are to be married to any outside male who beats them.  
______________________________________   
  
"But I'm already married."  
"Oh, too bad sirs. When woman get in way of Amazon, Amazon give woman   
Kiss of Death. No let Amazon find out. They very powerful warrior who kill."  
"Tsuyosa, wipe that look from your face."  
"What look Saitou? Besides that, I doubt anyone would be able to stand up against   
'Battle-axe' Tokio."  
______________________________________  
  
Tsuyosa's eyes glinted as he rubbed his hands together. "Okay, so what do   
we know about Chinese Amazons?" he asked, beginning to pace the hall. "Maybe   
we can find a loophole somewhere here."  
  
Saitou watched him pace. Like everyone else, he often got tired of thinking   
through problems for other people. It was a living, but that didn't mean he   
had to like doing it off duty. There were few people whom Saitou actually   
trusted to help him come up with a decent plan, and in this problem, it was   
better to have Tsuyosa's mind on the often-scantily clad purple-haired   
Chinese Amazon should Tokio ever discover the mess.  
  
And, as much as he freely admitted it, Tsuyosa had a mind that was far   
sharper than what he usually showed. In the few emergencies when he and   
Tsuyosa had worked together, the older man had proven to be far sharper than   
what he actually let on. Unfortunately, he was only this way during   
emergencies. Because of this, it was a side rarely seen by anyone, least of   
all Tokio.  
  
"We know that the Amazons are not limited to one husband only," Tsuyosa   
began, halting in his pacing and facing Saitou. He craned his neck to look   
upward at the policeman. "We also know from past experiences of trying to   
lose her and that prune she calls a mother, that the Amazons are a very   
destructive force, and civilians are likely to be hurt."  
  
Tsuyosa rubbed at his neck. Saitou mourned for the loss of his cigarettes.   
He hadn't had time to replace his supply, and even if he did, he knew that   
Tokio would do her best to make sure he couldn't get them. "And," Tsuyosa   
continued, "to top it all off, we both realize the significance of the   
Kisses of Marriage and Death."  
  
There was a long pause and then Tsuyosa's eyes slyly shifted over to the   
taller man. "You're a cop," he said slowly, "tell me if the Chinese Amazon   
laws can be upheld here in Japan."  
  
Saitou shrugged. "First of all, because we were in their territory, we   
were subjected to their laws. We continue to be so because their law has not   
been invalidated here as of yet. Second of all, since it has not been   
invalidated by either their courts or ours, we can still be held responsible   
for breaking them."  
  
"But don't our laws of marriage override their laws of marriage if they   
came first? I mean, you already have a wife by way of Japanese law and those   
Amazons cannot lay an attack or assassination attempt upon a Japanese   
citizen without risk of being punished for it. Invariably, that should leave   
both you and Tokio safe."  
  
"You look almost disappointed," Saitou pointed out. Tsuyosa gave him a   
sheepish smile. Saitou rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Point taken though,   
but what about you? You're not married so you don't have an excuse."  
  
"Yeah well, if I can draw the line of fire from you, then that solves half   
of our problems. Besides, they are a tribe that respects elders and their   
decisions. I'm very sure they might have a law somewhere concerning the   
choice of marriage for widows and widowers."  
  
"Perhaps. Come on, we better be getting back to the dining room before—"  
The door slid open and Tokio stepped though. "Hajime!" she pronounced   
happily, spotting her husband. Her gaze fell upon Tsuyosa and turned   
disproving. "Tsuyosa," she said darkly. She turned back to her husband, all   
but ignoring her brother-in-law. She brightened and grabbed Saitou's arm.   
"Darling, we still have some papers to go over with the children," she   
reminded. She frowned at Tsuyosa as he began to make faces at her. "I suppose   
you want to come," she grumbled. "Fine; just don't you dare get into my way,"   
she added ungraciously, tugging Saitou towards the door.   
  
Tsuyosa limped along behind them. "Kind of you to think of inviting me,"   
he said dryly.   
  
  
  
  
They entered the dining room where the others were still waiting for them.   
Tsuyosa, Tokio, and Saitou sat down together in that exact order. Tsuyosa   
and Tokio began to glare at each other. Saitou cleared his throat and forced   
Soujirou to sit between them. The young rurouni kept casting glances at each   
other, waiting for one of them to say, "Soujirou, tell your aunt/uncle that   
she/he is a . . ."  
  
Tokio demurely folded her hands before herself and waited for Tsuyosa to   
begin.   
  
He cleared his throat first. "Now, Kaoru-chan," he began gently, reaching   
across the table to take her hand into his. "As we both know, I left three   
years ago to fight in a war. I was attacked, presumed dead, and life sort of   
went on from there. But while that may have been what happened, there is   
much more to it than just that . . ."  
  
____________________________  
  
" . . . And besides that, Kaoru would be left without a father! I got to   
live! I got to move! I got to—OUCH!!! Okay, I'll concentrate on that living   
part, and gradually work my way up to moving."  
  
Tsuyosa collapsed on the ground, his leg and stomach aching like hell   
though they bled no more. He looked up at the sky and blinked tears away as   
the sun shone harshly down upon him.   
  
"You'd think they'd have the courtesy to at least attack and leave me for   
dead under a tree in the much more pleasant shade, but ooooooh nooooo!" He   
pulled his sticky cloak over his head, curling his nose at the rancid smell   
of dried blood. Soon the flies would come and make his life even more   
miserable. He sighed with the turn his life was taking.  
  
"You know, I think I hate them," he thought to himself just before he   
passed out from the pain and lack of blood.  
  
He awoke to hear a cackling old voice. "Oh joy! What a haul!" Silently. He   
pulled the cloak off his face, wincing with each movement. He blinked his   
eyes at the moonlight as a cool breeze swept over his hot body. He sighed   
and closed his eyes. Life didn't seem too hopeless now that his stomach only   
dully ached and he couldn't feel a thing in his leg.   
  
After a few moments. He felt something tugging his purse off his body. He   
swiftly grabbed the little old lady trying to run off with his purse, though   
the movements made him grunt with the pain his stiff body protested under.   
She jumped, yen pieces scattering in the dark night.   
  
"What are you doing?" he demanded. The little old lady burst into tears,   
making him feel like a callous cad.   
  
"Oh shonny! I'm jusht a poor old lady who'sh trying to get by! Mosht of my   
own children are dead, and I wash shearching thish battlefield for any   
money—er, shurvivorsh I could help!"  
Tsuyosa sighed and released her. "Look ma'am," he began patiently. "I'm   
not going to be angry with you. I undershta—ahem, understand."  
  
The woman stopped crying and gave him a disbelieving look. "You do?"  
  
"Yes, and as it is, I fear something is quite wrong terribly wrong with me."  
  
"Oh." She quickly looked over his body and spotted his leg, which was   
twisted in an odd angle and covered with several clotted wounds. "You mean   
like thish leg?" She poked it.  
  
"Yiiii!" Tsuyosa's hair stood on end.  
  
______________________________  
  
  
Tsuyosa appeared lost in the memory for a moment, and then he broke away   
from it to give Kaoru a smile. "Anyway, my leg had been broken in several   
different places and I guess it never really healed right. I suppose having   
the muscles shredded into several different pieces did not help any. Because   
of it, I could not properly get around without help for a year. Even a year   
after that, I couldn't really walk. I'm only now up to strength enough to   
get around anywhere without too much trouble, which is why it took so long   
for me to get home."  
  
Kaoru gave him a hurt look. "But daddy," she said, "why didn't you at least   
send me a message and let me know?"  
  
He gave her a steady look. "Because the lady's son was the only one capable   
of delivering a message for me, and believe me, I had plenty of reasons for   
Happousai not to deliver any messages to you. Besides, we were in a remote   
region in the mountains that never saw anyone.  
  
"A long time ago—just after your dear sweet mother died, in fact—you   
remember your aunts come over to help with the house and yourself and with   
the funeral matters. I'm sure we all—" he shot a quick glance at Yahiko and   
Kenshin "—well, most of us remember that happening."  
  
Soujirou and Kaoru nodded their heads in fond agreement and remembrance.   
Tsuyosa continued. "Now, back then, Soujirou and Kaoru were always hanging   
out together—well, with the rest of the Delinquents, but that is beside the   
point."  
  
"Whatever happened to those little Mongolians?" Tokio wondered.  
  
Kaoru spoke up about the same time as Soujirou did.   
  
"Tae runs a restaurant."   
  
"Chou is now working as a policeman."  
  
Kenshin gave the cousins startled looks. "Tae? Chou?!"   
  
"Nice to see they came out good in the end," Tsuyosa said as he pried   
Kaoru's teacup from her hands. "No dear, you don't want to be holding this."   
  
She gave him a puzzled look and he smiled in return. "Going back to our   
original subject, Soujirou and Kaoru were always hanging out together. I   
mean, you couldn't separate them for all the world! Back then, both Yumi and   
Tokio were both trying to figure out what could be done with Soujirou, who   
is illegimate. And don't smile so sheepishly boy, it's not your fault. But I   
was worried about Kaoru—I mean, she no longer had a mother, so what would   
happen if I died!"  
  
He glanced sideways as Tokio who seemed to be in a relatively good   
mood—perhaps because she was remembering her sisters.   
  
"I couldn't bear the thought of Kaoru getting by without someone being   
there for her. So Yumi, Tokio, and I devised a plan to make sure both she a  
nd Soujirou would come out ahead here. We asked them both if they really   
liked once another; they said yes. We asked them if they ever wanted to be   
parted from one another. They said no." He took a deep breath, and then   
reached around Soujirou to nudge Tokio out of her dream-like state.  
  
She gave him a glare sharp enough to reduce mountains down to beaches of   
sand. "What?"  
  
"Your turn to continue," he replied, pointing at Kaoru and mouthing, 'I   
don't want to be the one she kills.' Tokio gave him another glare and then   
tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. She sat up straighter before   
leaning against her husband.  
  
"Fine. Together, we drew up two papers. The first said that Kaoru had to   
be married by her twentieth birthday should her father die beforehand in   
order for her to inherit the dojo." She took a deep breath and then withdrew   
a piece of paper from her pocket. She held it in front of Kaoru and Soujirou.   
"This is the second paper. It engages the two of you together."  
  
Kaoru's eyes bugged out as she saw the writing. "I have to marry . . .   
Souji . . . chan . . ." She fainted, falling over the back of her mat.   
Tsuyosa did not afford her a look as he sipped his tea.   
  
Soujirou took a deep breath to steady his nerves, thought better of it,   
and then decided to join Kaoru in blissful unconsciousness.   
  
"Ah!" Tsuyosa smacked his lips at the tea's bitter flavor. "They took that   
better than I thought they would!"  
  
Yahiko shot a quick glance over to a pale Kenshin. "Hey," he said softly,   
tugging at a sleeve. "You're looking a little startled. Are you all right?"   
Kenshin gave the little boy a false smile that even he could see right   
through without a problem.  
  
"Eh, I'm fine Yahiko de gazaro," he assured him. He did not notice   
Tsuyosa's eyes glinting slyly at him over his cup of tea.  



	6. Chapter Five

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
  
Kaoru came to by a damp cloth on her face. She stared up at the fuzzy vision of Kenshin. "I had   
a nightmare," she said, sitting up. "I dreamed that my dead father was back, Saitou was my uncle,   
and I was engaged to be married to my cousin."  
  
Kenshin's face twisted, bloated outward, and then changed until he looked like Jiya with red   
hair and bucked teeth. "Foolish girl! Muahahahaha—Hyuck!"   
  
  
  
"AAAAAAHHH!!!" Kaoru sat up with a scream.  
  
Then she grabbed Kenshin, who knelt by her head. She began to strangle him in a fit of panic.   
"If you say hyuck, I'll beat you over the head with your sakaba!"  
  
Soujirou, who had awakened a few moments before Kaoru had, choked as he saw his fiery-tempered   
cousin strangle the infamous Hitokiri Battousai. Tsuyosa glanced at Tokio.  
  
"She gets her temper from you," he reminded her. She sipped her tea, making it a point to not   
acknowledge him. Kaoru jumped to her feet.  
  
"I refuse to marry Soujirou!" she declared, tossing Kenshin aside as if he were a rag doll.  
  
"Orrro!"  
  
Tokio waved her hands in the air. "Kaoru! If you and your father—he is illegally alive, so he   
can't own it—want to keep the dojo, then you must marry by your twentieth birthday. Otherwise,   
this house, the dojo, and the property it sits upon all reverts to me and . . ." She stopped,   
her eyes wide with implications. They quickly narrowed into a sly look. "Maybe," she began   
slowly, "maybe we should wait on this marriage," she said finally.  
  
Tsuyosa froze in mid-sip. "Wait a minute . . ." He looked thoughtful. "That doesn't sound too   
right . . ."  
  
Yahiko yawned suddenly, followed by Kenshin from the corner he had been tossed into.  
  
"Hmmmm . . ." Tokio gave Yahiko a fond glance. "I think it's bedtime," she announced. She stood   
up and looked down at her husband. "We still have to get my trunk from where it is sitting on   
the front porch," she told him.   
  
Tsuyosa paled. "Wait a minute . . . You mean to tell me you're going to stay here?"  
  
Tokio gave him a superior look. "Until Kaoru is married," she said. Or until the house was fixed;   
whichever came last. But her brother-in-law needn't know that! "Hajime, would you be a dear and   
go outside to fetch my trunk for me?" She turned to Kaoru. "We'll need to make sleeping   
arrangements. Everyone, follow me."  
  
  
  
Kenshin sighed. He was in hell. He had to be. There was no other way to explain it!  
  
He was so sure Tokio was out to get the man who was formally the Battousai. This wouldn't have   
been so bad—in her eyes—but he had also tried to kill her husband on numerous accounts back in   
the Meiji War, and he had the gall to live unchaperoned with her niece. This, above all other   
things he had ever done to her, was the most unforgivable offense.  
  
Tokio was a traditionalist in a few ways. She believed a young girl should be allowed to follow   
her heart and marry the man she wanted, as long as her parents—who knew what was best—approved   
of him. She also believed that said subject of women should be watched closely, lest she did   
what Tokio did, and that was run off with the man she wanted and everyone else could be damned.   
Of course, Tokio was happy with her choice in the end. He was everything she dreamed of, and   
more, since such a man would rarely have the patience to put up with a woman such as herself.   
She often wondered what he saw in her, but she never questioned it.   
  
She was an overly protective woman, believing in guarding children just enough from the world   
for them to retain a special innocence. Such a thing was attractive, and men liked a woman whom   
they could nurture and protect lovingly. That was what galled her the most about Kenshin. Kaoru   
was able to take care of her self, and with a man living in the house (it didn't matter if the   
man did anything or not. Tokio considered any single man standing on the same carpet as any   
single woman sinning), it was impossible for suitors to come around. They would think Kaoru was   
already taken. Or stained.   
  
And it was for this reason that he was sure he was stuck in the same room as Yahiko and Tsuyosa.   
Speaking of Yahiko . . . Kenshin grunted as little cold feet prodded for warmth. They settled on   
his warm back, somehow making their way past his gi. Kenshin sat upright and gave Yahiko a mock   
glare before gently pushing him away. He settled back onto his mat, gathering his blankets close   
around his form.  
  
They disappeared with a shoop.  
  
"Oro?"  
  
Kenshin looked over his shoulder with large eyes to see a large ball of blankets—his, Yahiko's,   
and Tsuyosa's. So that was why Yahiko had tried seeking warmth from Kenshin. Tsuyosa was tucked   
deeply within the middle of the ball, his toes peeking out from one end and gray-streaked hair   
tumbling out of the other end.   
  
Kenshin shivered as cold feet made their way back to his back again.   
  
Yes, he was in hell.  
  
That was when Tsuyosa and Yahiko began to snore.   
  
Check his earlier statement; -now- he was in hell.  
  
Kenshin rolled onto his side, tucking his hands within his sleeves. He heard soft footfalls. His   
eyes shifted over to the door. Having recognized them as being Kaoru's, he wondered what she was   
doing out of the room she was sharing with Tokio.   
  
Kaoru slipped into the room, her face thick with sleep but lit up with a beautiful inner light.  
Kenshin stared at it for a brief moment before he noticed she had stumbled her way over to the   
bundle of blankets that was her father, and fell to her knees at his feet. She slid her hands   
into the opening, and impossibly wiggled her way into the center of the blankets where Tsuyosa   
wrapped his arms around her and snuggled his face deeply into her hair.   
  
"Mmmmm." Kaoru quickly fell asleep.  
  
And began to snore too.  
  
Kenshin sat upward, feeling this was far more than he could possibly take. He stood up and left   
the room with a sigh. He padded down the hallway to the guestroom where Soujirou and Saitou where   
sharing. He pondered whether it was safe to enter and sleep in the same room as the Mibu Wolf,   
and decided it was. After all, Tokio had said earlier that evening that if there was going to be   
any blood-shed, then it was going to be outside where she wouldn't have to do so much cleaning.   
And Saitou listened to her . . . Most of the time at least . . . Er, right?  
  
At any rate, it couldn't be any worse than Tokio waking up and finding Kaoru and Kenshin had   
slept in the same room. She would excuse Tsuyosa, because he was Kaoru's father who was believed   
to be dead for the past three years and who would NOT expect Kaoru to seek him out in the night,   
just to make sure he really did exist? and Yahiko was only a little boy—too young to do anything   
with his hormones yet.  
  
He entered the room, and then poked Soujirou over to share the mat and his blanket. He laid   
between him and Saitou.  
  
  
  
Kenshin's eyes sprang wide open as he felt large hands roaming through his hair. "Hmmmm . . .   
Tokio," Saitou whispered as he sleepingly pulled him closer.  
  
"ORO!!"  
  
  
  
Tokio awoke to smoke. "Ack!" She quickly jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen. She was   
unable to enter it though because of the thick smoke pouring from it and forming a large,   
impregnable wall.   
  
"Or—hackcough—o?" Tokio glanced around to see a bed-raggled Kenshin coughing as he stared at the   
smoke in disbelief.   
  
"What—hackhack—is going on?" she demanded. Kenshin shrugged as he tried to rub morning grit and   
smoke from his eyes. Both of them jumped as Kaoru's head popped through the wall of smoke. She   
appeared unaffected by it.   
  
"Good morning Aunt Tokio, Kenshin!" she greeted them cheerfully just as Soujirou sleepingly   
stumbled forward to stand beside his aunt. "Daddy and I are making breakfast!" Her head   
disappeared into the wall of smoke. Soujirou turned an alarming white color.  
  
"Um . . . You know, I just remembered something I left in Kyoto!" Soujirou turned and tried to   
run away. Tokio grabbed the back of his gi. "Lemme go! I promise I'll be back within a month!"   
Tokio dug her heels against the shining floor even as she was being pulled across it.  
  
"Himura!" she snapped.  
  
"Oro?"  
  
"Sit on him! Right now!"  
  
"Oro!"  
  
  
  
"No! No!" I don't want to die!" Soujirou sobbed as he struggled to get out from beneath Tokio   
and Kenshin. Though the two people on top of him were slight, Tokio had somehow winded up with   
two of her very dangerous and oh so infamous knitting needles that was a terror to him back when   
he was a small child. Kenshin looked slightly embarrassed to be where he was.   
  
Saitou entered the room. "What's going on?" he asked just as he saw Kenshin. The two former   
enemies looked away as their faces flooded with a red color.   
  
Soujirou began to cry harder. "Uncle Tsuyosa and Kaoru are cooking! I don't want to die!"  
  
"Hn." Saitou quickly turned around and grabbed his hat off the rack. "I have paper work to do at   
the office, Tokio. Don't expect me back until after suppertime." He quickly shuffled out of the   
dojo. Yahiko glanced quickly at the smoke, and then at the police officer.  
  
"Hey!" he called, running after him. "Wait for me! I always wanted to know what it was like to   
be a policeman!"  
  
Soujirou glared after him. "Come back and suffer with the rest of us!" he yelled after them.  
  
Tokio frowned. "Funny," she said to herself more than to the two rurounis, "he absolutely hates   
paperwork and tried to avoid it at all cost." She patted Soujirou lightly on the head. "Don't   
worry," she assured him, "it won't be so bad."  
  
He sniffed. "But Kaoru's and Uncle Tsuyosa's cooking always seem to get much, much worse when   
they cook together!"  
  
A few moments later, Tsuyosa and Kaoru walked out of the kitchen, proudly carrying several   
plates of what might have once been edible.   
  
"Voila!" Tsuyosa said. The others gave him an odd look. "What? That's what a French cook aboard   
one of those foreign ships used to tell me as he showed me how to make flambéed food! Which, by   
the way, I have prepared for you this morning!"  
  
Tokio rolled her eyes and then stood up. After years of eating Hana's cooking, his cooking, and   
even the occasional kitchen disaster Hajime had the nerve to call food, she had acquired a   
strong stomach. That didn't mean she had to enjoy the food, and rarely did.  
  
"Hana," she muttered to herself, "if you were not dead, I'd have killed you."  
  
  
  
They stared at the platter of black ash and the bowl of green glop that had been named, 'mystery   
pudding.' Soujirou felt his stomach swimming as he peered at it. "Are you sure it's dead?" he   
wondered. Tsuyosa gave him a look of offended pride. Kaoru kept her eyes steadily upon Kenshin,   
who never failed to be nice and eat anything she cooked. The little rurouni gulped, knowing he   
would be the first victim.   
  
Tokio watched him closely as he reached out slowly witch his chopsticks, picked a large scoop of   
ashes up, and brought it towards his slightly opened mouth. She was impressed at the way his   
hand did not shake. Kenshin took a bite. His face turned six different shades of purple before   
moving into eight different shades of blue.  
  
He forced a somewhat pleased smile on his face as Tsuyosa and Kaoru leaned forward to see if he   
would like it, and Soujirou did the same to see if Kenshin would keel over and die. Tears began   
to shine in his eyes. "Unique!" he managed to cough out. As Kaoru and Tsuyosa smiled proudly, he   
grabbed the pitcher of water and began to drink from it.   
  
Soujirou turned whiter than before as he looked from Kenshin to the platter of ash. Then he   
realized that Tsuyosa and Kaoru were leaning across the table to look at him, shoving the bowl   
of green glop in front of him. He knew—he just knew!—that he would have to be the one to taste   
it first. He glanced over at Aunt Tokio, hoping she would intervene with such words as, "Oh come   
now! You can't poison him after he's been missing for ten years!" But she didn't. She calmly   
sipped her tea as she watched him closely. He glanced over at Kenshin for support, but the other   
rurouni was still drinking the water.  
  
"Okay . . ." he sighed. He picked up his chopsticks and dubiously poked the green glop. Everyone   
jumped back in surprise as the green glop snatched the chopsticks from his shaking hands and   
began to fend him off with them.  
  
Tsuyosa regarded it curiously. "You don't think we added a little too much curry powder, do you?"   
he asked as Soujirou jumped to his feet.  
  
"Bye!" he said quickly, making a wild dash for the door. Tokio tripped him up with a hand and   
then hurriedly sat on him before he could run away.   
  
Kaoru gingerly picked up the bowl of green glop, avoiding the chopsticks it was trying to stab   
her with. "I think I will just toss this outside . . ."  
  
  



	7. Chapter Six

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
  
Saitou sighed with relief as he sat down at his desk. The chair creaked beneath his weight. He stared with distaste at the small pile of papers that were already beginning to pile up on his desk. This wasn't very much; if he didn't want to be sent home early, he would have to take of it. Well, he knew some people who had questionable pasts from the Meiji War he could dig up if he were desperate enough . . .  
  
"Don't touch that," he told Yahiko even as the youth reached a hand out to touch the exquisite vase sitting on a table next to the desk.  
  
"What would happen if I did?" Yahiko shot back. He wilted slightly under the cool golden gaze Saitou turned upon him.  
  
"I don't believe you actually want me to answer that question," he said softly just as a loud crash was heard outside his office and a high-pitched Chinese-accented voice began to make demands on seeing 'her husband'. Yahiko watched in wonder as he saw Saitou's face turn a deadly white.   
  
Outside the office, a young woman with lavender hair and her wrinkled prune of a mother were beating their way through the police station to Saitou's office.   
  
"Son-in-law must be around here somewhere," the old lady said, hitting one person with her stick as he got in the way. He quickly scrambled out of their reach and hid behind a clothes racket. The young Amazon-Lo Zhun-skipped forward and aimed a kick at the door in front of her that knocked it off its hinges. She peeked her head through it.   
  
"Where husband?" she demanded in her thick-accented Japanese. She was greeted by a tiny figure engulfed in a large blue coat and his face hidden by a cap that covered the hair and half the face, while the other half of the face was hidden by the collar on the coat.  
  
"Can I help you, my dear madam?" 'he' asked with an obviously fake deep voice as he made gestures with his hands from behind the desk he was currently sitting (or standing?) behind. Lo Zhun leaned forward to take a closer look at the funny little man.  
  
"You no look like husband?" she asked, scratching her head in puzzlement.   
  
"What?" the voice exclaimed in a high-pitched youth's. It stopped, coughed, and was deep once more. "I have no idea what you're talking about! Why, if I had a wife as cute as you, I would never let her leave my side! (ouch, don't hit me)"   
  
Lo Zhun huffed vainly and flipped a strand of hair over her shoulder even as her mother joined her. "Hmm! You be weak husband I know! Me have two husband!" She proudly held two fingers up. Impatient with her daughter, the old woman hit her with her staff.  
  
"Come daughter! If your first husband is not here, then we shall look for your second husband!" She jumped onto her stick and hopped over to the window, which she promptly jumped out of. Lo Zhun huffed once more before following after her mother.   
  
Yahiko stared after them for a brief moment before looking under the desk. "You owe me," he said in a normal voice as Saitou crawled out from beneath it. "You didn't have to kick me either." Saitou glared at him.   
  
"Don't you dare tell a single soul of this!" he warned Yahiko. He stared up at him for a brief moment before breaking into a sneaky grin.   
  
  
  
Sanosuke stared at the empty dojo yard. Ayame and Suzume tugged at his hands, moaning of their hunger. Earlier that day, Megumi had snatched Sanosuke off the street and forced him to watch the two younger girls so they wouldn't be pests as she looked her patients over. Sanosuke decided to go for the regular deal: Pawn them off to Jo-chan and, while he was at it, beg lunch for all three of them.   
  
"I wonder if they all decided to go to Tae's without me," he thought jealously to himself. He picked Ayame up as she begged for a ride and settled her down upon a shoulder as Suzume tugged at his hand and tried to pull him towards the kitchen area. He allowed himself to be lead there. As he reached the kitchen area, he stepped in something slimy. He looked down to see green goop covering his shoe.  
  
Both girls chimed, "Ewww!" as he made a face and tried to wipe it off onto the grass the best he could. He shuddered as he briefly thought what Kaoru must have concocted for breakfast, and then continued on to the kitchen. As he entered it, he suddenly realized that someone was banging on something somewhere in the dojo.   
  
Jo-chan and a small woman with the same dark hair were sitting together in the middle of the kitchen on stools, peeling yams. The banging was slightly louder in the room. The woman looked up from her peeling. "Can I help you?" she asked politely.  
  
Possessing fewer manners than Kenshin (and basic intelligence, for that matter), Sanosuke replied, "Who the hell are you?"  
  
Perhaps it was from the crass language with the current audience, or perhaps it was because he had walked in with two small children as if he owned the place, but for whatever reason, the skin around Tokio's eyes tightened as it always did when she was struggling to control her temper. She turned to Kaoru and pointed her parrying knife at Sanosuke. "Who's the slob?" she asked.  
  
Kaoru hunched her shoulders and began to peel more furiously. "He's a bum that likes to mooch off me!"  
  
"Oi!" Sanosuke pulled Ayame off his shoulders and set her on the floor, glaring furiously at Kaoru. That was when Soujirou, almost ignorant of the visitors, entered the kitchen.   
  
"Ka-chan, do you know where Yahiko placed the broom?" he asked. "Kenshin told me that I should-"  
  
Sanosuke facefaulted when he saw who it was. "You!" he bellowed, pushing Sazume out the way.   
  
"Eeep!" Soujirou ran around the room of the kitchen using his great speed to get the inevitable fight out of the house (Aunt Tokio would kill him much more painfully than what Sanosuke would ever be capable of doing). Suzume hit Ayame and the two little girls burst into tears as Sanosuke followed closely after Soujirou. As Soujirou ran past a startled Tsuyosa who was dipping a bucket into the well for water, the green goop finished eating its way through Sanosuke's shoe.   
  
"Youch!" He stopped and began to stomp the foot before sitting down and trying to jerk the shoe off without getting the green goop onto his hands.   
  
Inside the kitchen, Tokio calmly set her yams and knife aside and stood up and walked over to the two small girls. They stopped crying as they looked up at her. She smiled kindly as she scooped both girls into her arms. She walked back to the stool where she had been sitting on and sat down. She balanced both girls on her knees.   
  
Kaoru gave them jealous glances, remembering such a time when she had been young enough to do that.   
  
"So," Tokio began patiently, "where do you little sweeties come from?"  
  
Ayame sniffed and rubbed at her eyes as her older sister jumped in with an answer. "Mommy."  
  
"Daddy helped too," Ayame reminded. Tokio and Kaoru sweatdropped.   
  
"They usually spend the day with Dr Gensai," Kaoru told her aunt.   
  
"Ah."  
  
  
  
Soujirou stared as he and his uncle watched Sanosuke attempt pulling his shoe off, cursing as if he believed that the words would make the green goop shrivel up and die of shame. Tsuyosa scratched his head in puzzlement.   
  
"What happened to him?" he asked. "Did he upset Tokio and she brought her heel down upon his foot? That does hurt, you know," he said. Soujirou winced as he remembered Tokio doing exactly that to Tsuyosa many years ago when he told her that he wanted to cook, and nothing short of a broken limb would stop him. They were the wrong words to be uttered around the wife of Saitou Hajime.   
  
"He's a friend of Himura's," Soujirou said. "I'm not really quite sure what happened." They looked up to see Kenshin standing at the corner of the dojo with his sakaba in hand, watching Sanosuke with wide eyes. Soujirou wandered off towards the rurouni. "Well, I couldn't find the broom and Kenshin asked me to sweep the front deck off. Maybe he might have an idea where Yahiko put it."  
  
Tsuyosa watched the mad stomping and cursing a few more minutes before Sanosuke was finally able to take his shoe off. He was then able to see the green goop. He looked thoughtful. "Eh, so I was right! There was too much curry!"  
  
"Where is he?" Sanosuke jumped to his feet and stormed past Tsuyosa to where he had seen Soujirou disappear with Kenshin.   
  
Tsuyosa grabbed the back of his jacket, noticing the kanji for "evil" on the back of it. Kaoru has very strange friends, and do does that Kenshin fellow, he thought briefly to himself. "Hold it, where do you think you are going?" he asked just as Tokio and Kaoru stepped out of the kitchen area with the two little girls on tow, both of which were munching away on rice balls.   
  
"Who are you?" Sanosuke demanded rudely, looking over his shoulder to see the hand holding onto his jacket.   
  
"I am the owner of th-"  
  
"Ahem." Tokio cleared her throat very loudly to gain Tsuyosa's attention. He looked over at her, and she glared at him, pointing at Kaoru and drawing a finger across her neck in a slicing motion. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end in response. He quickly looked back at Sanosuke again, mumbling under his breath. "What's that I hear?" Tokio yelled. Tsuyosa flinched. Her hearing was sharper than what he credited her for.  
  
"I am the illegally alive owner of this dojo," Tsuyosa said in an attempt to avert attention. Sanosuke's ears perked as he blinked in astonishment.  
  
"How is that possible?" he asked.   
  
"I don't know. Ask the shrew over there," Tsuyosa snapped angrily, gesturing at Tokio.  
  
"I HEARD THAT!!"   
  
Thinking quickly in order to change the subject before Tokio came over to him and begin to smack him around, Tsuyosa attempted to start up a conversation. Sanosuke had his eyes on the living pot of bubbling fury. Megumi came immediately to mind. He began to edge away from her.   
  
"So," Tsuyosa began, "why are you here, tromping about as if you think you own the place?" He asked in it a playful mood, more so to create a friendly atmosphere against the mood Tokio was setting. It came quite to everyone's surprise when Ayame spoke.  
  
"He does!" she squealed delightfully. Tsuyosa shot a surprised looked over at Tokio and noticed the infamous tic going off in her forehead. He began to edge away from her as well, glad that her anger was now off him, but at the same time, slightly regretful that it had to be this slightly innocent stranger who had to feel Tokio's mighty wrath.   
  
Kaoru, in a fairly bad mood because her pupil had run off before she could show her father what she been teaching him decided to help further Tokio's temper. "He's also the one responsible for the large hole in my dojo that Kenshin is currently trying to fix!"  
  
Uh oh. Tsuyosa stumbled backwards and decided it was time to clear out as the tic in Tokio's forehead began to beat faster. He limped as quickly as he could over to hide behind the cheery tree. Far enough that he was out of the reach of Tokio's wrath, but close enough to observe her behavior.  
  
As a rule, Tsuyosa very much enjoyed women. They truly fascinated him. Soft, sweet smelling and as smooth as silk with minds like lovely round circles; that was how Tsuyosa viewed women. The circles had gentle curves, locked up tightly against the harshness of the world and yet still soft enough to be kind to all.  
  
Tsuyosa did not get along well with Tokio; it was partially his fault, he knew that. But dammit, the woman fascinated him with all the ways she reacted to what he did! Tsuyosa was fairly certain that Tokio had a mind like a diamond-lovely to look at, yet all planes and points. He was fairly convinced that, should Saitou's wife have fought in the Meiji War instead of Saitou, then there would have been a different outcome in the end.   
  
As he stood hiding behind the cherry tree and waiting to see what Tokio would do, Murphy's Law (not yet discovered, but in motion nonetheless) decided to kick him where it counts. A lavender blur whizzed over the fence, pounced on Tsuyosa, and began to kiss the smidgens out of him!  
  
"Wa no ai, airan!"  
  
"ACH!"  
  
Tokio's wrath redirected itself to her favorite target as she suddenly found him in a rather compromising situation. She pulled her trusty knitting needles out, and then decided against them. She went for the heavy arsenal, which was the ever-ready frying pan that had left a scar on Tsuyosa's hairline. She strode over to the target.  
  
Feeling as if he had just escaped a persona worse than Saitou's, Sanosuke fled to the (he hoped) safety of Kenshin.  
  
"Tsuyosa?" The subject froze in his struggles to be free even as the perceptibly soft voice spoke. He looked up and saw his worst nightmare . . . Correction, he woke up and saw his worst nightmare in her worst form.   
  
"This isn't my fault!" he protested before she could accuse him of doing anything. Kaoru bent and scooped both Ayame and Suzame into her arms and carried them closer so all three of them could hear was what being said more clearly. From the other side of the dojo approached a nervous looking Kenshin, who Soujirou was hiding behind. Sanosuke trailed behind them with his pockets stuffed in his hands and a look of disgust on his face.  
  
"Soujirou is a good boy and Kaoru's cousin. Be nice de gazaro," Kenshin had said before they went off to see what Tsuyosa was yelling about.   
  
"You," began Tokio from where she was standing with a barely-hidden frying pan behind her back, "are a disgrace to Hana."  
  
"Hana who? Er, I mean, that is-Wait just a minute!" Tsuyosa jumped to his feet with the Amazon still hanging around his neck. He tried to pry her loose from his body. "In case you haven't noticed, Hana has been dead for thirteen years! And besides that, it isn't my fault this girl thinks I am her husband!"  
  
"Oh isn't it?" Tokio returned calmly. "Then why haven't you done anything about discouraging the girl?"  
  
Lo Zhun jumped to her feet and squared off the tinier woman. To Tsuyosa's disappointment, he saw that he was shorter than the Amazon. That was when he realized that the Amazon was no older than Kaoru.   
  
"Who you?" Lo Zhun demanded, glaring at Tokio. She wrapped a protective arm around Tsuyosa. "MY husband! You get own!" Tsuyosa warily eyed the frying pan Tokio held behind her back.   
  
"I already have my own husband," she replied. "If you wish to keep this moron, then you are most certainly welcome to him."  
  
"Wait just a minute here! You just said I should discourage her!"  
  
"You are a different matter all together," Tokio snapped back. "You fail to remember you have a daughter who must be wed in order for both of you to keep the dojo!"  
  
"Hang the wedding and hang the dojo! It's mine, you hear me? And when that law guy comes popping up around to see if Kaoru has married, I'm going to tell him exactly that too! Kaoru can marry who she wants when she wants and that's final!"   
  
"And what about Soujirou?"  
  
At the mention of her predicament, Kaoru dropped Ayame and Suzame to the ground and burst into tears. Both adults wore guilty looks as they watched her run away from them.   
  
Sanosuke, from where the three men were standing together and watching the matter, nudged Kenshin. "This is your big chance! Jo-chan needs comfort and you have to do that!"  
  
Kenshin's fingers curled nervously as he took a step forward, but he really did not go after her until Soujirou decided to help him along with a well-placed shove. He gave Kenshin an assuring smile as the little rurouni turned around to see what had happened. Kenshin nodded in reply and hurried after the retreating figure.   
  
Soujirou then eyed Sanosuke nervously. Sanosuke shrugged. "When this is all over, I want an explanation as to what is going on and who that woman over there is." He shuddered. "She scares me." Soujirou cast a look over his shoulder at where Tokio and Tsuyosa were glaring at one another, having not quite picked up their argument yet. He turned back to Sanosuke and broke into a smile not unlike Yahiko who knew a piece of useful blackmail when he saw him.  
  
"Yes, Aunt Tokio does seem to have that sort of effect on morons."  
  
"Yeah, tell me about-hey! What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Soujirou's face became serious. "Beware of what you call Aunt Tokio around people. While she is capable of defending her own honor and beliefs, her husband would gladly do it for her as well, and he's a bit more violent about it than Aunt Tokio."  
  
"Oh? Who's he?"  
  
This was where Soujirou broke into his cheerful, I'm-just-an-innocent-person-who-would-never-lie smile. "Saitou Hajime." Sanosuke stared at him with shock before his stomach growled.  
  
"Ugh. I'm hungry," he said, placing a hand over his stomach.  
  
Soujirou dropped the smile. "You're also alive, so don't be saying anything about food around my uncle!" Sanosuke blinked in reply.   
  
  
  
Kenshin stared at Kaoru's shaking shoulders. "Kaoru-dono?" he began softly with concern as he stepped closer to her. She turned and glanced over her shoulder at him. She brightened up and began to make wild swipes at her eyes to wipe away the incriminating evidence that she had been crying.   
  
Kenshin felt his heart wring at the sad sight. Karou stared across at him, and then dropped the brace façade she held. She burst into tears again.  
  
"Oh Kenshin!" She shamelessly threw herself into his arms. "I don't want to marry Souji-chan! I love him and all, but just not like that! I can't imagine my life with him! Everything is just awful!"  
  
Kenshin patted Kaoru's shoulder. "But in light of it all, isn't it nice that he is alive? Isn't it nice to have him and your father, your aunt and your, ah, uncle together here?"  
  
Kaoru sniffed and reluctantly pulled away from Kenshin. After a few moments, her face resumed a dreamy look. "Yeah. All we need now is Soujirou's mother and the rest of the Delinquits here for it to be the same." She sighed and then tightly hugged Kenshin. "In fact, I believe I will invite them here for a party, and dad can even cook!"   
  
Kenshin turned white as his thoughts flitted over to the horror of what had been breakfast. "B-but Kaoru-dono, do you really think . . . Oro!"  



	8. Chapter Seven

--This story was co-written with my sister, Rosemary, whom you may contact at gohorses@yahoo.com.   
--The story idea itself belongs to her, though I contributed to adding details to them. I was   
--also the one who wrote the story, while she only made decisions. As a result, neither she nor  
--I actually own Rurouni Kenshin. Heck, we don't even own Tsuyosa because we protray him along   
--the elusive lines of Kaoru's father. We're not sure Tsuyosa is his real name even, but it's   
--Japanese for strong and we thought it sounded pretty, so we decided to use it. Apoligies for   
--any Out of Charactor you see, though we tried greatly to keep them out of that rut. Heck, we   
--don't know how Tokio is supposed to act eithor, so we're not too sure about her . . .  
--One final word: This story is slightly crossed over with Ranma 1/2. You don't need to be familar   
--with it to be left in the dark, since I believe I explained everything in the story. However,   
--it might be helpful for any inside jokes/puns I felt like tossing in. ^_^ C&C is ever so welcome.  
--Please do not take and distribute this anywhere without my permission (dalimata@yahoo.com), or  
--even run off with the idea. Thankyouverymuchos!  
  
  
  
Kaoru boldly made her way over to where her father and aunt were still bickering even as the young woman with lavender hair who had shamelessly pounced Tsuyosa stood between them, her head moving to look at each person as they spoke.   
  
She glanced over to see Kaoru marching up to Tsuyosa. Jealousy clouded her facial expression. "Who you?" she demanded. Kaoru ignored her and threw her arms around Tsuyosa in a breath-taking (Tsuyosa's, to be exact) hug. Lo Zhun's heart broke in two at the sight, and the pain overwhelmed her good sense.   
  
She pounced on Kaoru, pulling a katana from out of nowhere.   
  
"Wait a minute!" Tokio grabbed her by the hair. "And who do you think you are, attacking my niece like that?" She effortlessly plucked the sword from Lo Zhun's hands and tossed it behind her. Tsuyosa fairly pushed Kaoru away, who burst into tears again. He slowly reached out and placed one hand on Lo Zhun's shoulder. He pointed at Kaoru.  
  
"Daughter," he spoke. He reached his free hand out to touch Kaoru's shoulder. She stopped crying. "Daughter. My daughter. Good daughter." Lo Zhun's face fell. She turned a belligerent glare over her shoulder at Tokio, who still held her by the hair. She swung a foot back. Tokio barely dodged it and then brought her frying pan down upon Lo Zhun's head.  
  
The Amazon went out like a light.   
  
They stared down at the body. Tokio snapped her fingers. "Now I know why she looks so familiar! She's the one who destroyed my house!"  
  
Kaoru nudged Tsuyosa's shoulder. "Daddy, who is that and what is going on?" she asked.   
  
Tsuyosa ignored it. His foot nudged the prone Amazon's body as his mind worked overtime. Amazon . . . Amazon . . . Tokio had just defeated an Amazon!   
  
A slow smile spread across his features as he bent over and began to shake her.   
  
Lo Zhun snapped awake, flung herself upward through the air and over Tokio's head. She landed perfectly on one foot, her two arms extended before her and the hands clenched into fists. She shot furious looks between Tokio and Kaoru. Tsuyosa felt himself grow cold as he realized Lo Zhun must have thought that Tokio was Kaoru's mother. He frowned. That matter would have to be changed.  
  
He pointed at Kaoru again. "My daughter," he spoke. He pointed at Tokio. "Evil," he said. "Very evil." There, that should take care of the matter.   
  
Tokio facefaulted and brought her frying pan down upon Tsuyosa's head. He flinched at the bump with his eyes screwed closed. He slowly opened them to see Tokio frowning thoughtfully at him. He broke into a triumphant smile. "Ha! Didn't you always tell me I had a thick skull?"   
  
"I believe it," Tokio grumbled, staring at her frying pan as if it had betrayed her. She was startled from her puzzlement when Lo Zhun jumped her.   
  
Soujirou, Sanosuke, and Kenshin all gave "Orro!" 's of surprise when Lo Zhun, planted a kiss on Tokio. Her hair standing on end from shock and her face as white as snow, Tokio did nothing to push the Amazon away. Lo Zhun dropped it and then scampered away across the yard and over the wall.   
  
  
  
  
Saitou liked to come home to a quiet home with dinner simmering on the fire, the scent lingering invitingly in the air. Perhaps Yahiko would have looked forward to the same prospect, as both of them had had a hard day of bawling drunks (Saitou could have sworn Sanosuke had something to do with it), pickpockets, and then there was that wrinkled, dirty old man who ran off with women's underwear . . .   
  
The moment the policeman slid the door open, both he and Yahiko were nearly knocked off their feet from the sound that blasted through the opening.   
  
"I absolutely REFUSE to have those awful little Mongolians within this house!"  
  
"Waaaaaaaa-"   
  
"Oh come now, Tokio. It would be just like old times!"  
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"That is exactly what I am afraid of! Those two were unruly brats with no sense of control of dignity and I refuse to allow them into this household!"   
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, this happens to be my house, and if Kaoru wants to throw a party to bring everyone together and let them know I am alive, then it shall happen!"   
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"I don't care! I am the matron of this house, and am obviously wiser than you!"  
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"You are the bubblebrain! Not I! The only smart thing you did in your life was to die, and even then you botched that up! And for Kami's sake Kaoru, breath!"   
  
" -aaaaaaaa-gasp!-Waaaaaah!"   
  
Saitou coughed to gain attention. The sound went by unnoticed.   
  
"-aaaaaaaaaa-"  
  
"I can't believe you would actually be so heartless as to say no to a perfectly reasonable question!"  
  
Tokio's face had flooded with an angry red color some time ago. She leapt to her feet just then and began to wag a stubborn finger at her brother-in-law even as Kaoru continued to wail without notice. "How dare you call me heartless! In the two years that I know those horrid brats, they stole my sister's jewelry-perhaps even made Kaoru and Soujirou do it-and never returned all of it when I tried to reason with them! They were rude, impossible, never listened to me, talked back, were insolent to no ends, and even went as far as to call me a witchy old hag! I highly doubt they have changed over the years! There will be no party and that. Is. Final!"   
  
"-aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  
  
Soujirou hid his face in his hands from where he was sitting. *This is it,* he thought to himself as his aunt and uncle stopped using words and were eyeing one another, measuring each person up for an impossible threat.   
  
Saitou glanced down at Kenshin, searching for an inquiry as to what had happened. He frowned when he noticed Sanosuke sitting beside the little Rurouni. So, that was where the morhon has been. No doubt he stuck around for an alibi.  
  
Kenshin, sensing eyes upon him, looked up. He gave Saitou a helpless smile and little shrug of his shoulders before the memories of the night before entered their minds at mutual seconds and they looked quickly away and embarresment flooded their faces.   
  
Saitou turned back to his wife and brother-in-law. They were still eying each other. He knew that look. If he didn't want to get caught between a "Hajime, tell that rocks-for-brains brother-in-law-of yours that his very existence is an insult to all other men who lived in the past and will live in the future", or something to that very extent. He cleared his throat to distract him. No one heard him over Kaoru.   
  
"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  
  
Damn. Who did he have to Aky Soku Zan around here for attention?   
  
Saitou's golden gaze drifted over to the oblivious Sanosuke.   
  
"Soujirou!" Tsuyosa turned to his nephew, speaking over Karou's wailing. "Tell your aunt she is a foolish stubborn shrew!"   
  
"You most certainly will not tell me!" Tokio snapped. "Because you will be telling your uncle that he is living illegally and therefore what I say goes!"   
  
Soujirou glanced from Tokio to Tsuyosa and back to Tokio once more. He gulped and began to sink downward. "Which uncle?" he asked in a low voice.   
  
"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  
  
Soujirou, exherting his speed to the fullest, whizzed behind Saitou with the innocent belief that the man was the only person safe from Tokio's wrath. Kaoru stopped wailing as a blue light streaked past her. Tsuyosa's eyebrows shot up to his receeding hairline at the speed his nephew had just displayed. Kenshin and Sanosuke did not seem worried about the matter.   
  
Kaoru turned around and threw herself at Saitou's feet. "Uuuncle Haaaajimeeee! AuntTokiowon'tletmehaveapartybutyouwillmakehernonethelessbecauseyoulovemeverymuchandbecauseIreallyreallywantapartyandcanIprettyplease?"  
  
"Breathe," Tokio reminded her just as Kaoru's face began to turn blue. Her eyes glittered dangerously as they traveled over her husband. She had her own way of getting what she wanted from the man she chose for her own. "If you say she may have a party, then you can sleep elsewhere than my side tonight, Hajime!"   
  
Soujirou cheerfully pointed out the flaws of her punishment. "But Aunt Tokio, didn't you arrange sleeping matters so you stayed with Kaoru and Uncle Hajime and I were in a different room together."   
  
Undaunted, Tokio continued on. "And none of you will be eating any of my cooking the entire time I am here!"  
  
"Posh!" Tsuyosa waved his hand before folding it and the other across his chest. "That'll be nothing! I can cook for all of us!"   
  
As the thoughts of what hell Tsuyosa could create in the kitchen, massive heart attacks occurred among the occupants of the room. As one, they turned to Kaoru, who was eagerly waiting for an answer. They voices mixed and formed one, the words chasing one another around in a merry-go-round; their meaning was summed up in two simple words.  
  
"No party!"  
  
Kaoru burst into tears once more.  
  
  
  
  
That night, over a somber dinner of sweet yams, Tokio turned to Yahiko and slyly asked him how day with a cop went. A devious smile spread across Yahiko's features as Saitou visibly choked on his tea. Kenshin, Soujirou, Sanosuke, and Tsuyosa leaned forward with curiousity to catch Yahiko's soft words.   
  
Kaoru, mad at everyone for taking sides with her aunt, sulked and did not pay any attention to the men as she loaded Ayame's and Sazume's plates with fresh strawberries and yams.  
  
"Oh, I'd have to say it was kind of fun." Yahiko's brown eyes shifted over to Saitou before looking back at Tokio. "I learned some very interesting things about certain people." Soujirou glanced around the table and stopped. He stared openly at the warning glares Saitou was sending Yahiko. As if aware he was being watched, Saitou's cool gaze shifted to take in the look upon his nephew's face. Soujirou saw the reminder of his past on his uncle's face and he slowly wilted beneath the gaze before it turned from him and back on Yahiko.   
  
Sanosuke spoke, much to Saitou's chagrin. "What were they?" Yahiko shrugged without looking at anyone in particular.   
  
"Oh, just things . . ." He sipped at his tea, smacking his lips at the sweet taste.   
  
Tokio turned to Saitou. She smiled sweetly at him and cradled her chin across bridged fingers. "Tell me, what does he mean?" she asked. Saitou cringed slightly enough for everyone to catch interest. He was saved from having to answer his wife's prodding question when the wall behind him exploded.  
  
Kenshin groaned. "I just fixed that, de gazaro!" he exclaimed as Saitou reached for his sword before suddenly remembering Tokio had taken it and Kenshin's sakaba when the Mibu Wolf and former Hitokiri Battousai had started to eye one another.   
  
A tiny old lady on a walking stick and a young woman with purple tresses stepped through the wall. The young woman growled and pointed Tokio. She rattled away several Chinese words to the old woman, who stared thoughtfully at the occupants. Ayame and Suzame cringed and hugged themselves against Kaoru. Her hands dropped down to protectively cradle them against her sides.   
  
Kenshin and Soujirou stared with morbid fascination as Saitou turned a very deadly white and began to slowly sink beneath the table.   
  
The old woman nodded her head absently as Tokio rose from her spot. As tiny as she was, she still towered over the other.   
  
"And just who," she began, her tone icy enough to freeze the bloodlines of every one who had ever crossed her and still manage to live, "are you to come crashing into this place with no thought or heed towards its occupants?"  
  
"Yeah!" Tsuyosa peered around Tokio's kimono skirts. "Who do you think you are to have that right? Tokio?" A smile broke out on Soujirou's features even as Tokio's eyes narrowed. She kicked backwards, the heel of her stocking-clad foot connected with Tsuyosa's chin. He toppled backwards.   
  
The old woman spoke, her ancient voice commanding instant respect from all who heard it. "Woman, who are you command these men?" She pointed with her cane end at Tsuyosa and Saitou. "Are they your husbands?"  
  
Tokio pointed at Saitou. "That is my husband," she replied cooly. She pointed at Tsuyosa, who rubbing his jaw that was quickly turning purple. "I have no idea what that creature is; I used to think he was marginally human, but I am plagued with doubts now."  
  
"He is not your husband?"  
  
"Hell would freeze over before I would even so much as consider living under the same roof as him!"  
  
  
  
  
Deep in the Underworld . . .  
  
Shishio gave the sky a look of horrid even as a snowflake drifted from its dark depths and landed on the tip of his bandaged nose.  
  
  
  
  
"You already are," Tsuyosa pointed out regretfully. He sighed as he folded his arms across his chest. His cheeks bulged before he released an explosive breath of air. From beneath his straggly bangs, he peered at Saitou. "I thought your code of life was to quickly slay evil." He nodded his head at Tokio. "What is she still doing around?"   
  
Tokio kicked backwards, but Tsuyosa shifted his head slightly so her foot only skimmed past his ear. He stood up, his movements fluid and precise. He bent low at the waist at the old woman, bowing his head in greeting. "Dear mother," he began respectfully, straightening up with several creaks in his back, "welcome to my humble abode. While I realize the company may be less than desirable, you are invited to stay here with your honorable daughter."  
  
He overlooked the look of panic Saitou sent him; he enjoyed ignoring the glare of rage from Tokio. The old lady looked thoughtful as her daughter began to speak in rapid Chinese again. She waved her hand and Lo Zhun quieted.   
  
"Tell me, son-in-law," she addressed Tsuyosa, "tell me of your wife. Is she still alive?"   
  
Tsuyosa closed his eyes at the mention before opening them again. His eyes were a brilliant blue color, shining with suspicious liquid. "No, she has been dead for a long time now."   
  
The old woman turned to Saitou. "Son-in-law, tell me of your wife."  
  
Tokio turned eyes full of horrid onto her husband. Saitou threw glances between the old woman and Tokio, trying to decide who the greater evil was. "She's been my wife for more than ten years," she said finally.   
  
Lo Zhun's face dropped before perking up as the old woman said something to her. She looked at Tsuyosa. A long, hard look passed between them before the old woman took two steps forward and finally sat down. "So, son-in-law, what's for dinner?"   
  
"Eyah! Lo Zhun is hungry!" The daughter sat down beside her mother. They both eyed the yams with barely-disguised eagerness. Tsuyosa fairly choked as he felt the rage building within Tokio.   
  
"You mean . . ." Tsuyosa looked surprised. "You're staying here?"  
  
"Only until you consent to marriage with my daughter and move to China with us."   
  
"Never!" Tsuyosa protested even as Tokio perked up.   
  
"Will he be staying in China for a long while?" she asked eagerly.   
  
"For the rest of his life."   
  
Toko turned to Tsuyosa. "Why not marry the child?" she demanded as he crossed his arms, turned his head, and began to sulk as a child who didn't get his own way would. "She's very pretty, young, sweet, and no doubt a wonderful cook!" He rolled his eyes before shifting his narrowed gaze.  
  
"And who, just this morning, was telling me I was disgracing the memory of Hana?"   
  
There was a long silence that following, broken only by the old woman reaching across the table and spearing a yam with a chopstick. Forgotten, and most certainly the person not likely to understand what was going on, Soujirou spoke up.  
  
"So, ah, what exactly is going on here?"   
  
Tokio turned her bright-eyed gaze onto Saitou. "Yes dear," she began, her dangerous tone of voice contrasting directly with her open and waiting face. "What exactly IS going on around here? I would very much care for an explanation . . . NOW."   
  
Tsuyosa turned to Saitou with a malicious smile. "It's YOUR turn to explain!" 


End file.
